In My World You Would Be Punished If You
by xx-animeXalchemist-xx
Summary: There are certain rules that one must follow if they wish to live a relatively pain-free existence. It's just a shame that no one bothered telling the FF:XIII characters that!
1. Rules 1 To 10

**Oki Doki, so this fic was inspired by a funny poster on my wall. Basically, my poster says, 'In My World You Would Be Punished If You...' and then there's a huge list of things. I thought I'd try writing a fic where one character or another is caught breaking these rules. As it's a pretty big poster I will post the rules in groups of ten. Hope you enjoy it~! ^_^  
>Disclaimer: I own nothing apart from the story :P<br>Just To Say: I love the FF series so although I may take the rip and character bash etc. it is just for comedy reasons**

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In My World You Would Be Punished If You...

**1.) Listen to music on your phone  
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When Snow was busy miming an air guitar and making (awful) guitar noises, it was Lightning who finally snapped first. Grabbing his iPhone and chucking it against a wall so that it smashed, Snow fell to his knees calling out an overly dramatic, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
>"Serves you right," she said coldly, glaring at the blonde that was supposedly to become her brother-in-law.<br>"But my theme song is so cool..." the man mumbled, beginning to hum it instead, going back to the air guitar and awful guitar impressions before pulling out yet _another _iPhone.

And the lesson Light learned that day was that, although iPhones are by far the easiest phones to smash, Apple would always send you a new one to replace it in the space of three seconds.

**2.) Talk during a movie**

When Vanille suggested that the group should watch a movie together, it seemed like a good idea. They were all tired from fighting monsters and general PSICOM idiots and so a movie sounded awesome. However when Vanille produced the DVD for 'Final Fantasy VII- Advent Children', it wasn't long into the film that everyone was offering comments (much to the pink haired girl's dismay).

"That guy must go through a _lot _of hair gel," observed Sazh, marveling as Cloud's hair stayed perfect despite the fact he was going at God knows how many miles an hour on his motorbike.  
>"I'm confused... what's actually going on?" Asked Snow, not having the faintest clue what was going on but happy enough to just look at the pretty graphics.<br>"Now _that _is a sword! I may have to switch that to my new weapon and get one like that!" Fang was suddenly very enthusiastic as she imagined the damage she could deal with the Buster Sword, or one ten times the size of it.  
>"The cat's really cute," Hope said quietly, his eyes glowing whenever Cait Sith graced the screen.<br>"Hmph, this is nothing compared to what we have to do. This Cloud guy got off easy," Lightning said emotionlessly as she was watching Cloud and Sephiroth trading blows in an epic sky battle. Secretly, she was jealous.

After putting up with her chatty friends for as long as she could, the usually cheery Vanille snapped. "WOULD YOU ALL PLEASE BE QUIET? I WANNA WATCH THE MOVIE!"

And it was then that Vanille casted Fog on her companions, silencing them for the rest of the movie.

**3.) Flex in the mirror at the gym**

Snow was proud of his super body, able to take any hit and still remain immaculate. So whenever he was at the gym, he would use every opportunity he could to pose and flex in front of the giant mirror (much to the annoyance of the 'larger' people who protested about the mirror being there in the first place).

One day as Snow was doing his usual 'Hero' pose in front of the reflective surface and smiling because he was the most ripped guy there, he heard a familiar voice call to him.

"Hey boss! I didn't expect to see you here!" Snow turned to face his friend from NORA. Gadot laughed when he looked over his boss. "Letting yourself go a bit?" He said jokingly, flexing his own over-sized muscles.  
>This triggered a 'my-muscles-are-better-than-yours' competition between the two men, and when Snow returned to the others and told them what had happened... it was obvious that he had been beaten as he locked himself in his room and refused to come out for an entire week.<p>

**4.) Eat my food**

Fang was glaring at the spot in the cupboard where her salty snacks should have been but weren't.

"Alright, who the Hell ate my salted pretzels?" She bellowed. Everyone heard her, and Lightning and Hope looked at each other nervously. It was never a good idea to piss Fang off, and they honestly had no idea at the time that the pretzels belonged to her.  
>"We should just tell her Vanille did it," Hope whispered to Light. "She'll go easy on her."<br>"Yes, that's true..." contemplated the swords-woman before a tiny grin came to her face.  
>"Hey Fang," called Light, "I saw Snow take them earlier. I told him not to, but you know how stubborn he is." <em>That'll show him for listening to music on his damn phone! <em>she thought.

And so Fang burst into Snow's room (who was still sulking from losing to Gadot at the gym) and although he used Steelguard to protect himself, the raven haired warrior had soon inflicted K.O status upon him.

**5.) Only drink Guinness on St. Patrick's Day**

Hope watched with interest as Lightning downed her third pint of Guinness.  
>"I didn't know you liked that drink," he said, still trying to come to terms with Light consuming alcohol. Usually the woman preferred to drink coffee because it heightened the senses, whereas alcohol slowed reactions.<br>"I don't," she said simply, polishing off the pint and asking for another at the bar they were currently sat in.  
>"Then why-" began the small boy, but Light interrupted him with the answer.<br>"It's St. Patrick's Day."

The silver haired boy was sure that nothing Lightning could do would surprise him anymore, but he was proven wrong with this statement.  
>"I didn't know you were Irish," he said with his eyes wide.<br>"There is a lot that you don't know about me..." said the pink haired woman mysteriously, before downing pint number four and getting up to use the restroom.

Hope's mouth dropped open when Lightning exited the restroom, dressed up in a sailor uniform. "I shall protect the world using love and justice~!" she slurred before running out of the bar.  
>When Hope told the others about it, Sazh and Vanille thought it would be funny to slip Guinness into Light's drink more often.<p>

The new anime series, Sailor Lightning, will be premiering sometime this year so look out for it~!

**6.) Spill beer... anywhere, anytime**

It was a rare occasion when Raines, Rosch and Nabaat came together, but the recent Pulse l'Cie threat had taken a toll on each of them and so they were busy getting totally smashed so that they could forget about everything for a bit. All was actually going well, that is until Rosch got overly emotional when he recalled how the l'Cie tried to claim they were still human.  
>In his rant about a certain group of six 'enemies of the state', he accidentally bumped Nabaat's beer glass, the liquid contents spilling all over the table.<p>

Long story short, Nabaat kicked the crap out of him while Cid burst into tears for no apparent reason whatsoever.

**7.) Smell**

When Sazh returned from his chocobo ride, he found his companions all sat down looking very seriously at him.

"What? I got something on my face?" he asked uncertainly, wiping at imaginary marks.

"This is an intervention," Light said seriously.

"What?"  
>"Kweh?"<br>Sazh and his chocoling were confused why he would possibly need an intervention. Before he could ponder the matter, Light snapped her fingers and Fang and Snow burst into action.

Fang grabbed his right arm, Snow the left. Lightning then snapped her fingers again, causing Hope to cast Waterga and Vanille to cast Watera on Sazh. The last thing Sazh said before the water hit him was, "No not the Afro!"  
>But it was too late. The poor man was completely drenched and his signature Afro seemed deflated.<p>

Everyone cheered at their success.  
>"Sorry dude," Snow said, draping his arm casually around the soaking wet man. "But you totally stank, that chocobo smell was definitely rubbing off on you!"<p>

Why it didn't occur to anyone to tell him to just have a bath, Sazh wasn't quite sure. All he did know was that he would raise a chocobo army against his supposed friends for messing with his awesome hair!

**8.) Haven't been abroad**

People who haven't been abroad are annoying, because when they finally do go abroad they never shut the Hell up saying, "Have I mentioned that I haven't ever been abroad before?"  
>As Pulse was technically considered as 'abroad' and no one except Fang and Vanille had been there, all of them were chattering away about the typical crap you really don't care about. Even Sazh was more concerned with sight-seeing and he was flying the aircraft! Fang and Vanille were getting really annoyed with this.<p>

"Okay okay, I get it. They haven't ever been of Cocoon before, big deal," complained the elder to her fellow Pulse dweller.  
>Vanille just gave an exasperated smile, "It really is annoying..."<p>

As if on cue, a giant flying monster came out of absolutely nowhere and whacked full force into the aircraft. The two Pulsians thanked the Fal Cie for doing this, because although they had a very rocky landing and nearly died getting their feet back on the ground, it was preferable to listening to their companions drone on and on about never having been abroad.

**9.) Piss on the toilet seat**

"Snow, you are disgusting!" exclaimed an angry Light, drawing her sword and pointing it at the confused blonde.  
>"What did I do?" He whined.<br>"You know _exactly _what you did!" she shouted, taking a swipe at him with her sword.  
>Snow just about managed to dodge it, looking thoroughly confused.<br>"Seriously, what did I do?"

"Hey guys," said Fang, looking at the two with curiosity before smiling at Lightning. "Are we gonna beat Snow up?" She asked eagerly.  
>"Yes," replied the pink haired one."<br>"Alright!" Fang shouted enthusiastically. "What did he do?" She asked.  
>"Pissed on the toilet seat," Light said coldly, narrowing her eyes at the accused man.<br>"I never did that!" He protested.  
>Fang just looked awkward for a second before saying, "Err... right, yeah Snow! H-How dare you... do that..."<p>

Snow and Lightning looked at her before Fang yelled, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" and sprinted off.

**10.) Are old and think I want to hear your stories**

"-and so it is your duty to carry out your Focus and destroy Cocoon! For it is said that-"

"For Fal Cie's sake Dysley, shut the Hell up!"  
>"We don't care okay?"<br>"We've heard this a million times!"  
>"Yeah, you old coots should know when enough is enough already!"<p>

Thus the poor evil old man was silenced as he was doing his best to sound dramatic, and the l'Cie attacked him before he could finish his story.

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**Well, what did ya think? Is this worth continuing? There are still tons of rules left, so please review and tell me what you think~!  
>Thanks so much for reading :D<strong>

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	2. Rules 11 To 20

**Shockingly people seemed to like this idea, so it looks like I'll be doing more of my poster :P ****  
><strong>Disclaimer: I think it's blatantly obvious that I don't own FF:XIII, if I did then it would probably end up like this fic XD<strong>  
><strong>Just To Say: Ja I know, I am mean to the characters and take the rip and such but that is for entertainment. If I really didn't like the game, then why would I bother playing it three times and writing a fic for it? Exactly.<strong>**

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**11.) Cry when you're drunk**

Jihl, Cid and Yaag all decided to give drinking together another shot. This time they had come to the understanding that they were not to mention anything to do with l'Cie, Sanctum or Pulse.  
>As their previous drinking session had ended prematurely, Nabaat and Raines were unaware of Rosch's low alcohol tolerance. They soon became aware of it though, as he downed his third pint of beer and the decided to move onto shots. Within the space of five minutes, the poor guy was totally smashed and on some drunken rant.<p>

"It's not fair you know~" he slurred, "I'm here doing my damn best to protect the state, and yet I'm viewed as the bad guy! Do you have any idea how hard it is to be me~? I try and try, but I'm always second best to~" he lazily pulled his arm up to point as his superior (Jihl), "YOU~ I know your game, you're pretty so you think you've got it all huh? HUH? Well I got news for you, I have something you don't!"

The other two were doing their best to ignore the drunk Lieutenant Colonel, but when he leaned over and attempted to grab Nabaat's glasses, ignoring him became more difficult.

"I have great eyesight~!" He half screamed half slurred. "Without your glasses, you're nothing~" And with that, he collapsed to the floor in a heap, crying abut everything and nothing.

**12.) Cry because your drunk friend is crying**

The woman sighed, looking down at her right hand man. "This is the last time we go out drinking with him, right Raines?" She looked to her left where said man had been, but he wasn't there. Looking slightly confused, Jihl looked back to the floor where Rosch was, and was surprised to see Cid cradling him in his arms.

"I know exactly what you mean! It's just so hard to be us!" The Cavalry leader had tears sliding down his cheeks as he stroked Yaag's hair affectionately. "Trust me, I know how you feel. This hurt... it's destroying me!"  
>"Cid~" slurred the Lieutenant Colonel quietly, "I had no idea you felt the same~"<br>"Don't worry Rosch, we can make it through this together!" Cid was crying buckets at this point, same as Yaag.  
>"I think I have just found my soul mate~" the drunk man managed to choke out through all the tears.<br>"Oh, Yaag!"

The two crying men embraced each other from their spot on the floor, while Jihl looked on at the ongoing scene with utter confusion. "Just what the Hell is going on? These men are pathetic, as if that tiny amount of alcohol could finish them off!"  
>With that, she left her drinking companions to go see if there was anyone who had a high alcohol tolerance to match hers.<p>

**13.) Won't try anything new**

"Well done Snow!" Hope smiled at the NORA leader, "You just learned Mediguard!"  
>Snow smiled proudly, "Well a Hero like me has to keep his abilities up to date right?" Secretly he was thinking, <em>What on earth is Mediguard?<em>  
>"Snow, Hope!" It was Lightning calling them, "Get over here! We're all going to train against some Pulse creatures so we'll be strong enough to face Orphan."<p>

The afternoon was progressing steadily, with the group splitting into two teams of three so that they had more of an opportunity to attack and practice abilities. Snow was trio-ed with Hope and Fang.  
>After about two and a half hours, it became blatantly obvious that the self proclaimed hero only had one strategy.<p>

"STEELGUARD!" He yelled for the thousandth time that day.  
>"Snow!" Fang shouted, "Quit using Steelguard and make yourself useful dammit!" She neatly finished off one of the Gorgonopsid they were up against as she said, "We don't even need a Sentinel for these guys!"<br>Hope said something much to the same effect as he cast Blizzaga, finishing off another two. Fang quickly eliminated the remaining one, and then she and Hope turned to face Snow.

"Why don't you ever try anything new?" Yelled the woman, "You're a good Commando as well you know!"  
>"And you don't completely suck as a Ravager either," added the silver haired boy.<br>"But... I'm so good as a Sentinel," was Snow's argument.  
>"Even so, all you do is use Steelguard, why don't you use another ability?"<br>"Because Steelguard is the best!" The blonde was grinning as he said, "There is no creature on the whole of Pulse that can penetrate such a perfect shield!"

The two other members looked at each other before saying, "Okay then, you stick with the old. In fact, why don't you show us how effective only using one move is up against... _that _thing?" Fang pointed to an Adamantoise, a creature which all members had avoided until now.  
>"Alright, bring it on!" Snow didn't even stop to think about it, charging in wildly while the other two looked on in disbelief.<br>"He's going to die!" Hope yelled, very worried.  
>"Nah," Fang said in reassurance, "He'll come pretty damn close though." She couldn't help but chuckle a little.<p>

"Alright big guy, let's dance!" Snow yelled at the giant tortoise. "STEELGUARD!"  
>The Adamantoise lifted one of its legs and stamped onto the ground.<p>

Snow passed out.

When he finally came to a few hours later, he was at the base camp in Vallis Media.  
>"What... happened?" He whispered, because it hurt to move and talk.<br>"You stuck to the same lame method and got your ass kicked," snickered Fang. Hope nodded behind her.

"What the Hell? Even if I had changed strategies that thing would have taken me out anyways!"

Hope and Fang looked at each other.  
>"He... actually has a point," said the boy.<br>"Well... that kinda defeats the point of this rule then, huh?" Was all the raven haired warrior replied.  
>"I guess..."<p>

**14.) Are a sexaphobe**

"Yuj? Wh-what are you doing?" A slender blonde boy was looking at his companion with slight fear in his eyes. Currently, said companion was hugging him tightly.

"Maqui," he whispered against the blonde's ear, "I want you. I've wanted you for a long time now..."  
>Maqui's eyes widened. "Pull yourself together Yuj! Don't succumb to all those fan-girls who paired us together for no reason whatsoever! THERE'S NOTHING TO SUGGEST THAT WE HAVE THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP!"<br>"On the contrary," the blue haired guy whispered, holding onto Maqui more tightly as said boy was currently trying to escape. "We are the two best looking guys in NORA, therefore we are _destined _to be together!"

At this point, the younger teen had managed to pull away from the suddenly strange Yuj. "J-Just what brought all of this on?"  
>Yuj considered this question, before shrugging without much interest and focusing on Maqui once again. "All I know is that I want to do <em>this <em>and _that _to you... so succumb to me and strip!" He made to grab the blonde, but he just about managed to dodge.  
>"You're crazy!" He shouted, before running off.<br>The blue haired teen gave chase. "Just admit that you have a thing for me already! I'll be gentle!"  
>"GAH! NEVER!"<p>

Thus another ordinary day at the NORA headquarters passed by.

**15.) Want to go home**

When Hope had expressed his desires to go home to see his father, Light agreed with him that it was the right thing to do. The pair had just exited the Gapra Whitewood and were all set to reach Hope's place in Palumpolum. However, due to most annoying circumstances, the two of them ended up separated and Hope ended up with no one other than the guy he hated: Snow Villiers.

"Don't worry, the Hero will get you home!" He said enthusiastically, all the while Hope was seething. _He's completely oblivious... damn him!_

Apart from shouting strategies to each other when they found themselves up against a PSICOM officer or other enemies, the two didn't talk to each other. Well, Snow chatted happily enough and failed to realise his companion's silence. When they were almost at their destination though, a few new enemies appeared.  
>"Alright, I'll focus on the robot thing, you get the evil flying motorcycle!" Commanded the NORA leader as he landed a punch on the PSICOM Aerial Sniper. Sadly, as these were new enemies, both of them failed to realise that the 'evil flying motorcycle' was a complete and utter bitch.<p>

When it started firing off thousands of bullets, the two of them were quick to get the Hell out of there.  
>"Wh-what the Hell?" gasped Snow, trying to catch his breath. "How can a freaking motorcycle be <em>that <em>strong? It doesn't even make sense for there to be an evil flying motorcycle!"  
>Hope was busy trying not to have a heart attack.<p>

The two pressed on, but...

"Oh come ON! Are you kidding me?"  
>Before them were about six Falco Velocycle's, and despite opting to use shrouds the stupid machines kept attacking them nevertheless.<p>

"How can all this be worth it?" panted Snow as the duo were busy trying to dodge out of the way.  
>"All I wanted was to go home!" Hope cried, a tear sliding down his cheek.<br>"Well as long as these stupid evil motorbikes are here, you can forget it!"

And so, about five hours later, the two of them had successfully made it through the barrage of mechanical enemies and made it onto a rooftop. They really needed a break.

Too bad they had to face a boss battle then.

**16.) Speak in a girly voice**

"Ah! Ah! Hiyaa~ Uhn! Mnn... AH!"

"Umm... is it me, or does Vanille sound like she's..." Snow trailed off his sentence as he and Sazh were busy taking a five minute break from the training Light was putting them through.  
>"Tell me about it," sighed Sazh. "Although I hate to say something like this about her... it really does sound like she's having an orgasm or something!"<br>"Oh thank Fal Cie that I wasn't the only one thinking that! It's so distracting!"  
>"I know! I had to travel with her for ages as well... I can't decide if it's arousing or just plain annoying."<br>"I hear that."

"I'm tougher than I look~" Vanille practically sang to the Flan she was currently doing battle with, before unleashing a series of spells while sounding like she was having sex.

"Ah! Oohh, hah!"

"Seriously... does she do that on purpose?" The NORA leader was really confused as to _why _the girl always did that.  
>"I have no idea," said Sazh, also trying to puzzle the mystery out.<br>"And while we're on the subject," Light said from out of no where, "Just what is her accent supposed to be? And why does she sound like a little kid?"  
>"Lightning!" Both men jumped. "You heard what we were talking about?"<br>"Yes," she said bluntly. "Trust me, I've been wondering the same thing for a while now, Hope's the same."

Vanille was still unaware she was the subject of discussion a few feet away, finishing off the flan with an, "AHHH~!"

Suddenly, a group of about seven Gremlins surrounded her. Snow, Sazh and Lightning all looked on with curiosity as the enemies had just appeared out of nowhere. They didn't even attack the pink haired girl; they just danced around her until they all jumped on her.

"Umm... What are they doing?" asked the blonde.  
>"Wait... they aren't... oh my God!" Sazh's eyes widened as he realised the situation.<br>Lightning had also realised the same thing but stayed composed as she said, "I guess the sounds Vanille was making attracted the Gremlins... looks like it sounded like a mating call."  
>Snow looked back at Vanille and the Gremlins now piled on top of her. "You mean... woah! Shouldn't we help her?"<p>

The other two considered before coming to a conclusion. "If we leave her, she may learn never to make those distracting sounds again."

And with that, the three of them left the scene while Vanille was left utterly clueless as to what was going on and the intentions the Gremlins had for her.

**17.) Use all the toilet roll**

"DAMMIT SNOW!"

Light's voice echoed through the current building they were using as a base at the moment. Said man had been taking a nap, but the sound of his angry future sister-in-law brought him back into reality. "Huh?" He asked blearily.  
>After about two minutes, Hope came into the room where Snow had been taking a nap with a small blush on his cheeks. "Umm... Light wants to see you..."<br>"What? Why?"  
>"Well... you see..." Hope never finished his sentence, because Lightning came crashing into the room and got a hold of Snow by his coat collar.<p>

"At least replace the toilet roll if you use it all!" She glared at the blonde angrily, while said man just radiated confusion.  
>"What did I do?"<br>"Used all the damn toilet roll," seethed the pink haired woman. "I was stuck on there for ten minutes! If Hope hadn't passed me another roll..." She decided that finishing the sentence was unnecessary, and so proceeded to strangle the poor NORA leader.  
>"I. Didn't. Do. It." It took all of Snow's effort to get the words out, because it is very difficult to breathe when you're being strangled.<p>

At this moment, Fang entered the room. Her eyes lit up when she saw the scene. "Yay! We gonna beat up Snow again?"  
>"Yes," Light said coldly.<br>"Cool, what did he do this time?"  
>"Used all of the toilet roll, causing me to be stuck on there for ages!"<p>

The awkward look Fang had donned a few days ago was back. "Ah... I see... Just what are you p-playing at, Snow? Umm..."  
>Light loosened her grip on Snow, and the two looked at her.<br>"YOU DIDN'T GET ME BEFORE AND YOU WON'T GET ME NOW!" Fang yelled before swiftly rocketing out of the room. This time, the two of them gave chase and managed to get out of the building in time to see that the raven haired woman had summoned Bahamut and was already in the air. Fang was laughing manically as she flew off, "VICTORY IS MINE!"

**18.) Beatbox**

One boring day when things were quiet and the group didn't feel like training, it was decided that they would take a day off. They were busy relaxing by one of the lakes on the Archylte Steppe when all of a sudden, Sazh started beatboxing. Everyone looked at him with interest, as he was laying down a pretty sweet beat. The chocoling in his Afro eventually surfaced and added the occasional "Kweh" in time with what Sazh was doing. Once he had finished his little skit, everyone clapped and cheered.  
>"Wow Sazh, that was amazing!" Vanille complimented. "Where did you learn to do that?"<br>"Ah well, I grew up in the Ghetto," he explained, suddenly sounding much more black than he had previously. "You never know when you're gonna have to down some white boy with a sick beat."

There was a moment of silence before Snow's eyes glowed and he said, "Wow, that's so cool! You're inner black guy has awoken! So cool!"  
>Sazh just nodded his head, staying all cool and composed. This caused Snow to idolise him even more. "I wish I was black," he moaned, before thinking about something. He then attempted to beatbox like Sazh had done previously.<p>

To put it simply: He was crap.

Snow had no rhythm and couldn't even get the basics down. After two minutes of utter beatboxing garbage, Light had had enough. She commanded the blonde to stop, but he didn't. For some reason, Snow was completely convinced that he was a beatboxing prodigy, when in fact he was just spraying spit everywhere.

"That's enough!" Light was glaring at the blonde who still refused to stop. She looked at Fang, who quickly understood what had to be done.

The two of them grabbed Snow by the arms and threw him into the lake. When he surfaced, the blonde had a stupid pout. "I just wanted to be like Sazh!" He moaned.

Sazh was currently listening to Gangster's Paradise on his iPhone, remembering how much he actually loved rap music. He soon found himself in the lake as well, because Light hates it when you listen to music on your phone.

**19.) Wear sunglasses inside**

Ever since the beatboxing incident, Sazh had decided to pay homage to his black heritage more often. This resulted in him wearing sunglasses all the time, even when he was inside. It also resulted in him wearing his khaki pants lower than they should be, so that you could see the top of his boxers. As he was good with machinery, Sazh had managed to find and fix a boom box from somewhere (it's a mystery just where he got it from, because a boom box was certainly not a thing to be found on Pulse) and had since been blasting out 50 cent and those of his ilk.

Since Sazh really could pull all of this off, the group were content to leave him be. However, Snow was still under the disillusion that he was also a black guy trapped in a white guy's body, and so he began to emulate everything Sazh did. When the blonde also took to wearing sunglasses inside, and then preceded to call Light a 'motherfucker', the group knew that something had to give.

"Snow, you are not black!" Farron was sick to death of the way the idiot blonde was acting, and she wasn't the only one.  
>"At least Sazh can pull it off, you just look like a spazz," added Fang.<br>"Listen to them Snow, you look ridiculous," Hope felt he had to offer his comments as well.  
>Vanille nodded.<p>

"All you ho's are just jealous cuz you ain't black!" Snow protested, striking a pose.  
>"YOU AREN'T BLACK!"<br>"Of course I am, I is like well black innit! You is just jealous cuz you ain't gangsta!"  
>"Oh dear God, he's gone insane."<p>

All of a sudden, two gunshots were heard. Everyone turned around to see Sazh wielding his pistols, the very air around him oozing coolness. When the chocoling appeared, everyone saw that it now had a small gold chain around it's neck, and was also donning a pair of mini sunglasses.

"They bothering you my brother?" Sazh asked Snow.  
>"For real yo! They is like cramping my style!"<br>Sazh just looked them over carefully before saying; "Well then I guess I'll just have to pop a cap in their asses."

Upon hearing this, everyone ran because it was only a few seconds later that Sazh opened fire, with Snow cheering him on.

And the lesson the l'Cie learned that day was: never let a black man or a wannabe black man wear sunglasses inside, because they will automatically think they are 'gangsta' and try to kill you.

**20.) Talk to me when I'm on the toilet**

"-and then I thought I could take on five Alraune on my own and I totally-"  
>"Vanille! Quiet for a sec will ya? I'm on the toilet!"<br>"But Fang... you've been on the toilet for like, fifteen minutes!" Vanille thought something seemed strange, and so opened the toilet door (which Fang hadn't bothered to lock). When she entered the bathroom, she saw Fang spreading a see-through glue all over the toilet seat.

"Err... What are you doing Fang?"  
>"Light's gonna beat the crap outta Snow when she gets stuck to the seat!" laughed the Pulsian. "It's gonna be so funny!"<br>"Didn't Lightning figure out it wasn't Snow these past two times you've done something though?"  
>"Yeah, but this time I can't fail!" Just then, the raven haired one had finished applying the near invisible substance to the toilet seat and nodded proudly at her work.<p>

"Well, let's go and wait for he show to begin, 'kay Vanille?"  
>The younger girl couldn't help but think that this would all backfire somehow...<p>

"GAH! SNOW!"  
>When Light emerged with the toilet seat stuck to her ass, no one could actually stifle their laughter. She glared at Snow, who pleaded innocence through his laughs. The two of them glanced at Fang who was thoroughly enjoying this amusing situation. It was there and then that the two of them hatched a plan...<p>

"I told you they'd figure it out," said Vanille as she stood outside the toilet. "You should have waited to do that."  
>"Dammit Vanille! I'm on the toilet, will you <em>please <em>go away? GAH!" On the other side, Fang was in extreme pain.

You see, when Light and Snow figured it out was Fang once again, the swords-woman pretended to beat up Snow, said guy playing along. Fang thought she had won, and was delighted when Light offered her a slice of cake later on...

"I can't believe they put laxatives in the cake!" Fang growled, sure that any moment she could actually die. "And they put in a whole freaking bottle!"  
>"I told you so~" Came Vanille's voice from the other side of the door.<br>"STOP TALKING TO ME WHEN I'M ON THE TOILET!"

Hiding behind the corner, Light and Snow high-fived each other and muffled their laughter.

x~x~x~x~x

**I have no idea why Fang ended up being the toilet person, but oh well XP ****  
><strong>Now I shall talk about how some of the rules came to pass (even though you probably don't care :P)<strong>  
><strong>14- I was surprised to see so many pictures and support for Yuj and Maqui. I mean, they were in the game for like two seconds, so even <strong>_I _**struggle to understand how they have a following XD ****  
><strong>15- Seriously, I HATED those damn motorcycles! Was I the only one who kept getting their ass kicked by them? No word of a lie, I always avoid those stupid things -.-<strong>  
><strong>16- There's no way I can be the only one thinking that Vanille sounds like she really is... ya know XD In the 'throw's of pleasure' or something. What is up with that voice? Honestly, I rarely use Vanille for that very reason, it's sooo annoying!<strong>

**Anywho, thank you for reading my fic ^_^ Please review, because they really do make my day :D**  
><strong>Until next time then~<strong>

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	3. Rules 21 To 30

**Hey y'all :D Thanks so much for your reviews and such, they really make my day ^_^****  
><strong>Alright, so I dunno if you know this (why would you?) but I just turned 16! I think it's a sign I need to mature more, but meh... like hell will that happen XD Anywho, on with my poster~<strong>  
><strong>Just To Say: YES! I do character bash! But you don't know where I live so there ain't nothing you can do about it XP MWAHAHAHAHAHA!<strong>**

x~x~x~x~x

**21.) Are better than me**

"Woah! This looks so cool!"

Everyone looked at Snow as he said this, because until that moment he had been sat quietly reading. Yes, I did say reading. This in itself came as a surprise to the others, because the Sentinel wasn't exactly known for literary pursuits. However, when they saw that he was just reading a gaming magazine, they relaxed because Snow was quite a big a fan of games and they knew that he wouldn't hurt himself (unlike the time he tried to read a Shakespeare play... it took Hope and Vanille a whole day focusing on healing spells to snap Snow out of his coma).

As the NORA leader had a huge grin on his face, it was Hope who deigned to ask what was 'so cool.' The silver haired teen found the magazine thrust into his face by the overly enthusiastic man.  
>"See? It's totally awesome right?"<br>"Snow," he said flatly, "I can't see anything if you shove it in my face like that."  
>"Oops," he laughed before pulling the page back to a more suitable range. By this point, the rest of the group were also curious as to what was so interesting. It had been a while since Snow had been so enthusiastic about a new game being released.<p>

Now able to see the pages contents, Hope read, "'The new Square Enix endeavour is set to be the greatest game of all time in the series. Introducing, Final Fantasy: XIII Versus'... what on earth?"  
>"It's the new game from Enix!" Snow said happily, "Doesn't it look amazing?"<br>"Let me see that!" Light barked and snatched the magazine, perusing the page quickly and muttering, "A real breakthrough in gaming huh? It can't be that great..."

"Wow! The main character looks so cool! And look at his weapon! Omigosh, this looks so good~" Vanille had sneaked a peak over Lightning's shoulder and was clearly impressed. Snow nodded in agreement with Vanille's statement before Fang also came over to take a peak at this new game.  
>"'Noctis Lucis Caelum,'" she read the caption under a picture of the protagonist. "Dude, that's totally depressing. He's way cooler than any of us..."<p>

Sazh also came over to take a look. "Hot damn! This game looks like dynamite!"

"No." Farron said this in such an evil tone, that shivers went up everybody's spines. "This is the best game in their series? I refuse to believe it! We are a million times better than this stupid pretty boy!" She stabbed the magazine venomously, glaring daggers into the page.

"Hey, calm down sis," Snow tried to subdue the angered woman but this only resulted in her getting more hostile.

"I WILL NOT BE BESTED BY SOME RICH KID! I AM A MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN HIM! Besides-," her voice turned very sinister at this point, "-this article says that this so called 'amazing' game is only announced for the PS3. _My_ game got on both PS3 and Xbox, so that means that I'm better!"  
>"<em>Your <em>game?" Fang asked sceptically, but Light was already storming off somewhere. "Hey, where are you going?" the raven haired woman called.

"I'm going to talk to my agent! I'm going to find this Noctis guy and kick his ass, and then become the hero of this Versus game!" And with that, a very pissed off Lightning went to go and make a 'phone call.'  
>"I feel sorry for this Noctis kid," Fang said with a look of sympathy.<p>

Meanwhile, in a place far far away, a guy with jet black hair felt a shiver run down his spine. Noctis wasn't sure why, but he suddenly had a very bad feeling...

**22.) Talk on the phone whilst you're driving**

"Can ya really pilot this thing?" Fang asked Sazh in disbelief as they looked at an old airship.  
>"Sure thing, there isn't anything that I can't fly!" he said proudly, the chocobo surfacing from his hair to let out a "Kweh" in agreement.<p>

The two of them had gotten bored with endless training recently, and so had gone for a walk in search of something interesting to do. When they came across an old crashed airship, they both thought of the exact same way to get rid of their boredom. However, the Pulsian was still sceptical on whether or not the tin can would actually fly.

"I bet you'll crash it," she said with a smirk, "No way you know how to fly a Pulse machine."  
>Sazh grinned, "You underestimate me little missy. What are you willing to bet?"<p>

Fang considered before saying, "Loser of this bet has to make out with Snow."  
>The other just stared before laughing. "Interesting, you're on!"<p>

Sazh hopped into the aircraft and set about familiarising himself with the various components. Once he felt relatively comfortable that he knew what he was doing, he activated the engine. Fang looked on, still confident that she would win their little bet. However, after two minutes of flawless flying from the gun wielder, she bit her lip and started to worry. "Damn, I really don't wanna lose this one!" she muttered to herself as she thought of the sickening prospect of kissing that idiot.

"Heh, I've totally won this," Sazh grinned to himself as he started to get cocky and performed an aerial flip. This was when his phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket with shock on his face, it was next to impossible to get a signal on Pulse. He recognised the numbers (it appeared to be a three way call) on the screen as the NORA co. that Snow hung out with. The blonde had insisted that everyone should take the NORA gang's numbers in case they needed their help for whatever reason. As he was doing pretty well flying the aircraft, Sazh thought that he'd pick up.  
>However, he didn't say hello because it appeared that a conversation was already taking place.<p>

"So you're okay?" a guy's voice from the other end of the line asked.  
>"For the last time Yuj, yes. Why are you so worried?" It was another guy who replied.<br>"Well, because you and Lebreau had to go somewhere else, and I got worried..." The voice paused before it asked, "So, what are you wearing Maqui?"  
>"Huh? I'm just wearing my usual-" the other guy gasped when he realised the connotations of the question. "Yuj! Stop it already!"<p>

_What on earth is going on? _Sazh thought to himself as he carried on eavesdropping. It was blatantly obvious that he had been added to this conversation by accident.

"I just want to know Maqui... I want to know everything about you." The voice was all low and husky as it said this, and the gun user was beginning to worry about where this was headed...  
>The other voice sighed, "I don't have time for this. I have to go."<br>"No, don't hang up!" The other guy was practically begging, before switching back to the husky voice and saying, "I'm only wearing my underwear. And do you want to know where I'm touching?"

"What the Hell?" Sazh exclaimed, so shocked that he forgot to focus on steering and the aircraft began to descend rapidly. The chocobo let out a frantic "Kweh" and Fang was cheering from her lookout spot on the ground.

"Yes!" she cheered, "He's gonna crash!"

Just as Sazh was about to regain control, he heard the pervy guy say, "I'm thinking about you... touching me like this..." and then he heard some faint gasps and moans from his end on the phone. As well as freaking out the other male in the conversation, it also freaked Sazh out and so the aircraft ended up crashing spectacularly.

Fang went over to inspect the damage and to make sure that no one had died. When she saw that the pilot was fine, she grinned as she said, "You gotta make out with Snow!"

And the morals of this story are: Don't make stupid bets, don't eavesdrop on phone conversations, and don't talk on the phone whilst you are flying an aircraft. Understand that children? Good.

**23.) Consider shopping to be a family outing**

"Daddy~" a small boy moaned as he was forced to come out shopping yet again. "This is always so boring! Why can't we ever go out anywhere interesting?"  
>Sazh looked at his son, Dajh, with a perplexed expression. "You don't think shopping at Tesco is fun?"<p>

The small boy shook his head vigorously to convey the fact that he thought these so called 'family outings' were the most boring thing ever.  
>"What about Asda?" Sazh pressed, "Or Aldi? Morrisons?"<br>Dajh continued to shoot all these ideas down, saying, "Just once I wanna go to a proper place that's cool!"

It was that night, when Dajh was fast asleep and Sazh was catching some well needed R&R and watching television, that he saw it: an advert showing what looked like a major tourist attraction. _It would make an interesting place for a proper family outing, _thought the Afro man.  
>"Euride Gorge, huh? I guess I'll take Dajh there at the weekend," he said to himself.<p>

It was as he was sat on a purge train with some strange pink haired woman who proceeded to kick the crap out of all the officers aboard when Sazh thought to himself, _That is the last time we do anything other than shopping for a family outing!_

**24.) Speak patois when you're a white boy**

Seeing as the whole 'black' incident had gone terribly wrong for Snow, he decided that he'd try something else. Sadly, as all he was good at (more like, thought he was good at) was sounding black. He sighed sadly as he tried out yet another accent and failed.  
>He even attempted to mimic Fang and Vanille's accents but he epically crashed and burned.<p>

It was when he was just about to give up hope on himself ever finding a cool accent, that he saw an advert on T.V about some cereal called 'Lucky Charms.' The guy in the advert had a very thick Irish accent, and when Snow tried to copy it, to his delight, he really did sound Irish.

This led to the NORA leader pretending to be Irish for the day, even substituting his favourite coat for a green one and sticking a clover in his hair. It was when he stole Sazh's boom box and started blasting out Celtic tunes (in an attempt to do river dance) that Light finally snapped.

"Stop mocking my heritage!" she shouted as she landed a critical hit on the dancing man.

Snow was out cold for the next three days.

**25.) Are a vegetarian but still eat fish**

Once Vanille had made friends with all the sheep on Pulse, she suddenly felt extremely guilty whenever she ate meat, because they were animals that she could have befriended. Thus, she decided to become a vegetarian... although not a vegetarian. She was one of those infuriating people that try to take the moral high ground with vegetarianism when in fact: they still eat fish. That's right, she was a Presbyterian... wait, what? Oh sorry, that's the holy thing. No, she was a Pescetarian.

Anywho, because of this Vanille would often go to Sulyya Springs to catch her food for the upcoming evening. This appeared to work well for about a week, which is when the great water Fal Cie (Bismarck) overheard the pink girl say to herself, "Wow, this whole eating only fish thing is hard!"

Angered that there were people in the world that would only consume fish, as if they were inferior to meat from land animals, Bismarck called up a mighty tidal wave which swept the Pulsian off of her feet. Bismarck then continued to release powerful attacks, while poor Vanille was left to wonder what the hell was going on and if anyone would come to her rescue.

"Hey, where's Vanille?" Fang asked the others at Base Camp that night, while they were all eating their tea. Everyone merely shrugged.  
>"I haven't seen her since this afternoon," Lightning said matter-of-factly.<p>

Vanille has been mysteriously missing for five days.

**26.) Think shouting proves your point**

"And so I dream of a world born anew, without the treachery and corruption of the human race! I am Orphan! And I will destroy you here and now!"  
>"Okay... mind if I ask a question?" It was Light who asked this, slightly raising her hand with her eyebrow quirked. The others looked at her curiously, surely now wasn't the time for this? After all, they were about to face the final showdown.<br>"What is it? You insolent human!" Orphan's voice boomed throughout the room, casing Hope to nearly break down crying and cower in fear (although, that isn't exactly hard to do).

"Is the shouting really necessary?" she asked coolly.  
>"WHAT!" screeched the entity.<br>"Look, not to sound rude or anything, but we've been though a _lot _of shit to get here, and to be brutally honest, I have a headache. I don't see why you always have to shout is all, surely you can tell us about your hatred of us in a calmer voice." Lightning kept a steady glare on Orphan, who descended into a frenzy.

"You insolent human! How dare you lecture me? I am Orphan! I gave you life! I hate you!"

The pink haired woman merely said in a cold voice, "I _hate _beings that think shouting proves their point," before commanding the others to charge in head on.

Orphan was slayed mercilessly. That is why you shouldn't be a dick and shout to get your point across.

**27.) Read over my shoulder**

Vanille was humming to herself happily as she was sat at her computer, on some website that she had recently become obsessed with. She always looked so happy whenever she was on the site, and she would occasionally let out a tiny squeal or start blushing. This got Hope curious, wondering what site she was on.

As the Pulsian was listening to Sazh's iPod (Light forbid music listening on iPhones or any other phones for that matter), she failed to notice Hope sneaking up behind her. He looked at the URL.  
><em>Fan Fiction dot net, huh? I think I've heard of that... isn't that where people write stories about stuff? <em>the silver haired teen thought to himself.

It was at this moment that Vanille let out a delighted gasp, as the story she was currently reading appeared to be getting good. Curiosity getting the better of him, and Hope peeked over her shoulder discretely so that he to could read the story. This is what he saw:

_"But what about Serah?" the teen asked, a bitter edge to his voice.__  
><em>"What about her?" Snow asked as if his fiancee was truly irrelevant. The other looked up with curiosity. The blonde continued his sentence, "I know that it's wrong... but I honestly love you more than anything, even more than Serah. Hope, I'm in love with you."<em>  
><em>"Snow," Hope whispered, tears of happiness coming to his eyes, "I... I love you to! So, so much..."<em>  
><em>"I know," the NORA leader said softly, as he gently took hold of the teenager before him and pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss.<em>_

_Hope moaned as-_

This was where said boy stopped reading the story, bight red in the face. "W-What the hell?" he asked in confusion, glancing at Vanille who had still failed to notice his presence. She currently had a nosebleed, and Hope didn't want to know why.

"What kind of sick person would write something like that?" Hope asked angrily as he stormed off and tried to forget what he had just read.

"Hey Hope!" came the cheery voice of a certain blonde.  
>Blushing, Hope quickly turned to face Snow and yelled, "Don't get any funny ideas! It's not like that all! I hate you! You pervert!"<p>

And with that, he ran off, leaving behind a very confused Snow.

**28.) Go on a bar crawl in fancy dress**

_"Dan, dan dan dan dan daaaaaan~ Bee bop, shawadada dan dan~ She is Sailor Lightning, saving the day using love and justice~! Her beauty and skills are just the bestest~! Lalalalalala~"_

Lightning glared at the television. Everyone had insisted on watching this new anime show that was to premier that day, and they were all totally engrossed, munching on popcorn and marvelling at the fact that one of their own actually had their own anime series.

"WHAT. THE. HELL. IS. THIS." she said in a voice of death, the look on her face matching her tone.  
>As the awful opening theme ended (which consisted of her skipping around in a sailor uniform), she saw the contents of the episode.<p>

It showed her staggering out of a bar, slurring, "Ha~ That's the fifth one and I'm still fine~" She was clad in a sailor uniform, and looked at the camera as she said, "I will protect the world with love~!" Before dashing off. The camera crew followed her as she began to take on low-level monsters, using moves she never even knew she had such as 'Moonbeam Love Love Ray' and 'Kissy Lovey Dovey Huggy Strike.'

The episode drew to a close with Sailor Lightning 'saving the day' before the alcohol finally took it's toll and she collapsed, face down in a puddle of mud.

Lightning didn't say anything, she just slowly walked up to the T.V, drew her sword, and wiped the world of it's existence. She glared at her companions, who all ran for their lives because Farron looked possessed. She swore there and then to never drink again, and also added the creators of the anime series to her 'List Of People To Kill.'

**29.) Put lol at the end of all your emails **

From: Snow  
>Subject: Hey sis~<br>Message: Hey sis, just wnted 2 try owt my new laptop and so I sent u dis email, lol

From: Lightning  
>Subject: Please don't do that<br>Message: Snow, first off I am not your sister yet and so don't refer to me as such. Secondly, please don't use 'lol,' it is annoying as hell

From: Snow  
>Subject: Huh?<br>Message: Why? 'lol' is freaking awesome! lol

From: Lightning  
>Subject: I am warning you<br>Message: Seriously Snow, I hate that phrase. No one actually 'laughs out loud' because that would make them clinically insane. So stop using that damn abbreviation!

From: Snow  
>Subject: Okay, chill!<br>Message: Fine, I dnt gt y u gt so precious bout it though...

...

...

...

lol

From: Lightning  
>Subject: You'd better start running<br>Message: I will kill you, and then I will **** with ****** and not to mention ***** and *** for *** and then ****** and then I will enjoy ****** [Note, as the author I thought it only appropriate to blank out what was written, it even shocked me :O]

From: Snow  
>Subject: O_O<br>Message: DON'T HURT ME! I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!

From: Lightning  
>Subject: Too late, start running! And also...<br>Message: lol

**30.) Wear playboy bunny clothes when you should know better**

The annual, "Final Fantasy 13" party was being held, and this year it was fancy dress.

Vanille skipped along merrily, humming some random tune to herself while Fang seethed beside her. "I can't believe I'm wearing this," she groaned.  
>"But Fang, it's fun to match~" she sang cheerily.<br>The warrior just sighed and prayed that there wouldn't be that much of a turn-out this year.

Her prayers were not answered. Practically everyone was there, and all of them clapped eyes on he matching playboy bunnies that entered the hall where this year's party was taking place.

Suddenly, a snooty, "Hmph! I look _much _better," sounded. Jhil Nabaat emerged form the crowd in a skimpy purple leotard, complete with fluffy purple bunny ears and tail. The pink bunny (Vanille) giggled and said gleefully, "Yay~! Now there are three of us!"  
>The black bunny (Fang) just wanted to die.<p>

It was at this point that Lightning exited the restroom, already drunk and for once not in her sailor uniform. This time, she had opted for a red playboy bunny costume in her drunken state. "I think you'll find~" she slurred, "That _I _look the best."  
>"No way!" It was Lebreau, clad in a blue bunny costume, who objected to this. "I look the best!"<p>

The five women began arguing over who looked the best (Fang joined in because she never liked to lose at anything) and an all out bitch-fight/foxy-boxing tournament broke out. The men were more than happy to watch as the bunnies fought each other, as it started off nice and light-hearted. Sadly, as all of these women were exceptionally skilled fighters, things soon turned extremely... messy.

While the ruckus was going on, Maqui was busy trying to protect his innocence by running away from (the still delusional) Yuj. Gadot was laughing at everything that was going on, along with Sazh. Rosch and Cid were busy getting drunk and in the space of two minutes, they were both crying and hugging each other because 'life was just so hard.' Hope and Snow were watching the bunnies go at it near the punch bowl.

"You should put on a bunny costume and join in the fight as well," the NORA leader joked to the silver, who proceeded to blush deeply as the memories of that horrifying piece of literature he had read the other day were still fresh in his mind.  
>"I will not wear a bunny costume for you!" he yelled defiantly.<br>"Huh? I didn't mean-"  
>"I know <em>exactly<em> what you meant! It's not gonna happen Snow, so just stop already!  
>"Hope," asked the perplexed blonde, "What are you going on about?"<br>"I DON'T LOVE YOU! I HONESTLY DON'T! I HATE YOU! THIS IS NOT LOVE!" screamed the teen before dashing off.  
>"What?" Snow asked himself. "That's kinda random... maybe I should go check on him?"<p>

Meanwhile, Light, Vanille and Fang had teamed up against Jhil and Lebreau and currently had the upper hand. Well, that was the case, until Lebreau pulled out a machine gun.

Long story short, Square Enix had to pay to rebuild the whole building that their characters had destroyed, Maqui very nearly got taken by Yuj, Gadot and Sazh became firm friends and thoroughly enjoyed the night, Yaag and Raines continued to cry all night about their 'many hardships', Hope refused to talk to Snow and would constantly run away from him, and all the bunnies ended up on a Casualty ward.

x~x~x~x~x

**Alright~ So how was it peeps? Good, bad, neutral? Lemme know with reviews ^_^****  
><strong>Okay, now for explanations for some of 'em:<strong>  
><strong>21- Let's be honest... Noctis looks badass!<strong>  
><strong>25- Okay... you guys don't make sense to me. I have nothing against you or anything, but I just want to know <strong>_why. _**Do fish not count as living animals or something?**  
><strong>26&amp;29- C'mon, those people are annoying right?<strong>** **I mean, if someone puts 'lol' all the damn time drives me insane! And 26... I refuse to even debate with those people -.-**  
><strong>27- Wow, these guys together have a LOT of love... who knew? XD<strong>

**Oki doki, see ya next time~**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	4. Rules 31 To 40

**Morning all~! So school has resumed, what a pain -.- Ah well, it won't be long before the school is under my complete control anyway *sinister look***  
><strong>Just To Say: I think you may have twigged by now that I take the rip out of the characters, and if you are still reading this fic then you clearly don't mind it :P<strong>

x~x~x~x~x

**31.) Send me stupid chain emails threatening to curse me with crap sex for life if I don't obey**

-and so if you do not wish to die, you will step down immediately.  
>Sincerely,<br>You're Worst Nightmare

Light nodded to herself in approval as she re-read the essay long email that she had just written.  
>Fang suddenly busted into the room, calling out, "Hey Light! Wanna come kill some Behemoth's with me?"<p>

However, when she clapped eyes on the pink haired woman staring intently at the screen, the Pulsian couldn't help but peek over her shoulder to see what was currently being displayed.  
>"Struth Light! What's this? I didn't think you sent death threats," she said in surprise.<br>"I admit that it is not my style," Lightning said without emotion, before her voice turned cold with, "However I have no idea of the whereabouts of this person, so death threats shall have to suffice for now."

Fang perused the email further to see who the recipient was, because whoever it was that had annoyed Light to this extent had a limited time left to live.  
>"Noctis? Who's that?" she asked.<br>"That stupid rich boy who thinks that he's better than me."  
>"Oh yeah," Fang said, recalling the incident the other day, "You seriously gonna threaten him with this?"<br>"Yes," Farron said before clicking 'send'.

It was a couple of days later that Light got her reply:

DON'T READ THIS!  
>Okay, now that you have gone against what I said, you are now obliged to comply with my every word. If you do not resend this to 10 users in your email list, then you will never have decent sex again. Ever. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! So you'd better get resending!<p>

"THIS LITTLE BRAT THINKS HE CAN THREATEN _ME? _WELL HE'S GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! CAELUM, YOU HAVE JUST MADE A _VERY_ POWERFUL ENEMY!" Light yelled in a rage.

Meanwhile, in a place far far away, Noctis took a closer look at the people he had randomly selected to forward the email to. "LightningStrike at ffmail?" he muttered to himself, "Who's that?"  
>It was only at this moment that he actually read the threatening email, and he realised that he had just made a potentially fatal mistake by sending this person that chain mail...<p>

**32.) Support a team from a city you have never lived in**

Hope never really felt as if he belonged, it seemed as though he was a bit of an outcast at times. He couldn't understand just why it was that everyone, including the females, seemed to be much braver than him. After all, he was a teenage boy, and usually they are brimming with confidence. However, Hope knew that this was not the case with him, and it really didn't help that he was often mistaken for a girl. And so, to make up for his startling femininity, he became a supporter of a totally manly sport: Blitzball.

Brushing up on everything he needed to know, Hope soon made it clear that he was a total guy by wearing the badass Blitzball outfit of the team he supported: The Nautilus Legends.

"Hey Hope!" Snow called out cheerily as he was on his way to get some food. He stopped when he saw what the teen was wearing. "I didn't know you liked Blitzball," he said in surprise.  
>Hope merely nodded vaguely as he made a sarcastic comment along the lines of, "Why would you know something like that about me?"<br>The NORA leader failed to pick up on the negative vibes being given off by the other, and grinned as he said, "I love Blitzball! I used to play when I was younger and everything! And of course I still support my home team: The Bodhum Blitzers!"

The silver haired one looked up with interest all of a sudden, he had no idea Snow was also a fan of the sport. _Although, I guess I'm not too surprised. Snow thinks he's mister macho after all._

"Hey, why are you wearing the kit for The Nautilus Legends?" asked the Sentinel, taking a closer look at Hope's uniform. "Shouldn't you support your home team too? Aren't they The Palumpolum Panthers?"  
>Hope just snorted at this. Although he didn't have that much knowledge of the sport, he knew that The Palumpolum Panthers were absolutely abysmal at Blitzball. They had never won their division at all. The Nautilus Legends on the other hand, won practically all of the time.<p>

When he told this to Snow, the blonde widened his eyes and conveyed a shocked expression. This was when, for the first time ever, Snow actually understood what was going on. _I see... he clearly knows nothing about Blitzball_.

"Hey... I heard that the Nautilus team you support are gonna play Palumpolum. How about we make a bet?"  
>Hope narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but Snow had his usual stupid grin on and so the silver came to the conclusion that the Sentinel was incapable of scheming something.<br>"Sure, you take Palumpolum and I'll take Nautilus."

Snow nodded happily and said, "Deal! The loser has to do tomorrow's training on the Archylte Steppe totally naked!"  
>Hope just stared at the other as if he was completely insane, however he soon smirked and said, "Deal." <em>He really is an idiot! <em>the teen thought to himself, _He's supposed to know much more about this than me, yet he went and picked a crappy team!_

It was the next day, when Hope was dying of embarrassment as everyone laughed at him, that he vowed to take revenge on Snow.

It turns out that The Palumpolum Panthers were in the highest division possible, one of the top teams in the world. The reason they seldom won the overall tournament was because their competition was extremely high. The Nautilus Legends however, were just in an average division. Long story short, the Nautilus team were completely obliterated and Hope lost the bet.

"Haha! He looks even more like a girl now!" Fang laughed hysterically, pointing at the naked boy, "It's even easier to mistake him for a girl like this!" When the others couldn't help but agree, Hope decided to storm back to base camp in a rage and contemplated ending it all there and then with the knife Light had lent him.  
>He didn't of course; he still had to kill Snow. The bastard even had the nerve to call him "pretty"... he had to die.<p>

**33.) Look at me funny**

Theme music plays and an audience clap as a woman looks at the camera and smiles.  
>"Hello and welcome back to Jihl's Corner. I am your host Jihl Nabaat, and today I have Anima with me here in the studio!" The audience cheered and Jihl kept up her cheesy host routine, despite thinking, <em>I am not getting paid enough for this.<em> "Anima, before the break you told us about your childhood, and now I shall ask the question vying on everyone's mind: Why did you choose Lightning and the others to become Pulse l'Cie?"

Excited whispers ran around the audience, eager to hear Anima's answer.

"Well you see," he said in a booming voice, "It was rather lonely on the Vestige. When I saw humans, I thought that I'd try and make a good impression." He slumped sadly as he recalled the event, "But before I could even introduce myself, some crazy lady with pink hair started slashing away at me!" He flailed his huge turbine-like arms around wildly, remembering all to clearly what happened.

"I emerged fully, to try and sort out the misconception this woman seemed to have about me, but she just commanded her two male companions to attack me!" Anima pouted as he said, "It was so unfair! I only wanted to be friends but she was just screaming at me and attacking me!"

"You poor thing!" Jihl said, sounding like she actually cared when in fact she just wanted to go to a bar. "So why did you turn them into l'Cie? Was it because they attacked you?"

"No," Anima frowned. "I mean, I could sort of understand that. After all, I don't exactly look like the friendliest Fal Cie. However..." he paused before continuing, narrowing his eyes. "The reason I turned them was because they did something that I absolutely cannot stand, and that was: They looked at me funny!"

There was complete silence in the studio, and it was Nabaat who asked the question everyone wanted to ask. "So you turned them because... they looked at you funny?"

"Yes," the entity replied. "Wounds heal, but some things are just downright hurtful! So I turned them into l'Cie."

Meanwhile, Light and the others were busy watching the show together. Farron was completely outraged with this answer, but to her annoyance the others just hung their heads in shame and said, "Well... we _did _look at him funny."

And that is why you should always be kind to others.

**34.) Try to stop a house party**

Music was blaring. Loud, rave music that was beginning to scare poor Hope Estheim. He had had a rather traumatic past few days, especially the fact that he had lost _that _bet. He wasn't sure how long Fang was intending to keep calling him 'the simpering maiden' but he hoped that it would stop soon.  
>Anyway, the current problem he found himself in was that the others had decided that they needed to relax and unwind, and somehow this resulted in a manic house party. Hope just wanted to sleep, but the music was so freaking loud that it didn't look like it was going to happen in the very near future.<p>

He could hear Snow cheering merrily, Light slurring something or another, Fang and Vanille laughing together and Sazh DJ-ing (because he was immense as that).  
>Eventually enough was enough, and so the young teen ventured to where his companions were partying in a bid to get them to break it up and go to sleep already. Now if the silver haired one had any sense at all, he wouldn't have done that, because it is common knowledge that you do <em>not<em>, under _any _circumstances, try to break up a house party. Sadly, as he was currently sleep deprived and in a foul mood, Hope did not think things through at all.

To avoid giving needless details, all you need to know is that the group were not happy with being told to quieten down. Pre-empting what would happen, Sazh changed the track to 'I Predict A Riot' as Fang literally pounced on the small boy and stripped him so that she could make more 'simpering maiden' references (later dressing Hope up in some of Vanille's spare clothes), Sailor Lightning attacked him with 'Super Huggly Hugs And Flowers Beam', Vanille was standing by squealing and making those generally suggestive noises that she does, and Snow just giggled like a schoolgirl for no good reason whatsoever.

**35.) Honk your horn the moment the lights turn green**

Remember that cut scene? You know, the one where there were all those cars racing and then the l'Cie dropped out of the sky and crashed it with their Eidolons? The one where (if you were normal like me) you literally yelled, "HOLY FRICK THAT WAS EPIC!" and you regretted not saving relatively close to this scene because that meant you couldn't just turn off your console and watch it again? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.  
>Anywho, this cut scene was rather misleading.<p>

Sure it _appeared _to be a race, when in actuality it was just traffic gone horribly wrong.  
>It all started with a traffic jam, with impatient people getting out of their vehicles and yelling (because that's totally gonna help the situation) at other people to get a move on. The second those lights turned green, all Hell broke lose. People honked their horns the very instant they saw the colour, people at the front got startled and so rushed their vehicles to go as fast as they could, the evil flying motorcycles from Palumpolum even appeared! And it was during this utter chaos that the l'Cie entered, looking epically cool with their Eidolons.<p>

Sadly, the people of Cocoon weren't aware that the l'Cie appeared because they had just travelled through a warp-gate, and took it to mean that if ever people got impatient with traffic ever again, more Pulse l'Cie would descend upon them and cause complete devastation. This lead to traffic lights being banned, in the hope that no traffic would ever appear again.

In fact, all they got were streets a thousand times more dangerous, which soon ended up being filled with Pulse creatures anyway (which the Cocoon residents took to meant that they just shouldn't drive t all). Now please take a moment of silence for the poor people who suffered at the feet of the mighty Adamantoise.

**36.) Own a 4x4**

Sazh was out for a leisurely drive in Brynhildr one day on Pulse, when all of a sudden he came across something he never expected to see: someone driving a 4x4.

Now as Sazh was environmentally friendly, he disliked those who owned gas-guzzling cars such as these. However, he was curious to see who was driving the 4x4, because as far as he was aware; his companions and himself were the only humans (or l'Cie if you're gonna be picky) on Pulse.

The gun wielder shifted gears and drew up close to the 4x4, and he was not at all prepared for what he was about to see.  
>In the drivers seat of the vehicle was his arch nemesis: the Cactuar.<p>

As soon as the green cactus spotted Sazh, he pulled a face and made rude noises before shifting gears and zooming off.  
>"Oh so you wanna play now?" Sazh yelled, determined not to be one upped by the overgrown foliage. He also shifted gears and gave chase.<p>

The Cactuar was a rather skilled driver and easily maneuvererd dangerous rocks and cliff faces and effortlessly dodged potentially fatal potholes. However, the man with the Afro was equally as skilled and was following hot on the trail of the animate cactus. Sadly, Cactuar knew Pulse better than his pursuer, and so somehow managed to defy all the laws of physics by driving over a giant gorge in the 4x4, neatly landing on the other side unharmed.

Sazh could not do this, and he knew it. "Dammit," he cursed under his breath and glared as the Cactuar climbed out of its vehicle to do a patronising dance in mockery of him.  
>"Oh that's it, you've gone too far now!" he yelled, pushing a button on the dashboard of Brynhildr.<p>

What this resulted in was a combination of Caltrop Bomb and Múspell Flame, which easily reached over the gorge and burned the Cactuar and that wretched 4x4.

"And that's what you get when you mess with Sazh Katzroy," he said coolly, putting a pair of shades on and driving off in epic slow motion as fiery explosions went off behind him.

**37.) Wear a tracksuit somewhere unrelated to sports**

Snow let out a melancholy sigh.  
>When the young teen didn't acknowledged him, he cleared his throat extremely loudly, and proceeded to sigh once again. He continued to be ignored until he literally put his head on Hope's shoulder and sighed <em>once again<em>.

"For Fal Cie's sake Snow! What do you want?" Hope asked angrily, pushing the other away from him.

"It's just annoying," the NORA leader said sadly.  
>"What is?"<br>"Well, everyone has something to define them ya know? Like, Fang is the totally badass babe, everyone just loves Light, Vanille is the cute moe person, Sazh is the epic black guy and you are the androgynous bishounen character."

Before Hope could whack him one for calling him an 'androgynous bishounen', Snow was pouting as he said, "But there's nothing that defines _me_! I mean, I say that I'm the hero, but it's kind of a team effort so I can't take all the credit! I tried being black and you all told told me off, then I tried being Irish but sis beat me up... how can I define myself?"

"How should I know?" Hope muttered angrily, trying to figure out how he could change his image because if even Snow recognised how girly he looked then the others must have noticed it as well.

_I need a new image! _they both thought simultaneously.

And so it came to pass that after watching an advert for a sports commercial, they became the trackie-wearing guys of the group. This in itself wasn't too much of a problem at first, but similarly to how blacks and wannabe blacks will turn 'gangsta' once they wear sunglasses inside, those that wear trackie's 24/7 will think that they are chavs and try to knife you.

It was when the others were running away from the delusional duo who were madly waving knives around, that tracksuits were banned from their l'Cie group.

**38.) Punch me in a friendly way**

"Hey Fang!" Snow called cheerily to his fellow heavy hitter. She merely grunted to acknowledge the fact that she was aware of his presence. "How're you?" he asked, playfully punching her on the shoulder lightly.

The Pulsian warrior took this to mean that Snow wanted to fight, and because he was not expecting it, the poor blonde ended up knocked out within a matter of seconds.

"Pick a fight with me and you will lose," she said and stalked off, probably to go and sabotage the toilet.

**39.) Turn your boxers inside out to get an extra day out of them**

As they didn't exactly pack for a trip to Pulse, the l'Cie found themselves at a loss on what to do when their clothes needed washing. In the end, they came up with a system of washing their garments at Sulyya Springs at different times because they would bathe there as well. Well, the females had no problems about communal bathing but the males in the group came to the conclusion that bathing with another guy would be 'gay' and so they worked a rota system. However, whenever things got very busy, some of the guys (Snow and Sazh, Hope wouldn't even think of such things) would occasionally turn their underwear inside out to avoid the hassle of washing them.

When Vanille and Light found out about this, they both pulled faces of disgust and ordered the men to go and clean their underwear at once. Fang on the other hand, wondered why she hadn't ever thought of that ingenious plan.

It was when they were at Sulyya Springs that it happened: they had to bathe together. After all, they both smelled awful and so it was decided that they would have to do something about that. It was Snow who made the first move, deciding that a hero was never afraid, and that being able to bathe with another guy was a way of showing how masculine he was. He began to strip, and Sazh figured that if Snow had no problem with it then just this once he could be cool about it as well.

As the blonde was naked first, he jumped into the water and closed his eyes as he let clean feelings wash over him. When he opened them again, he was met with the sight of a naked Sazh about to climb into the lake.

"Holy crap!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide.  
>"What?" Sazh asked, pausing at the edge of the water in case Snow had felt some weird monster thing swimming about.<br>"You... you... THAT'S SO UNFAIR! ARE YOU FOR REAL? WHY CAN'T I BE BLACK AS WELL!" The NORA leader began flailing his arms about wildly, while the chocobo lover watched him with a confused expression.

Eventually Snow calmed down and pouted as he said, "Geez, you sure know how to make a guy feel inadequate."

Ever since then, Snow became all quiet and subdued whenever Sazh was around, and muttered something the lines of, "It's only cuz he's black that he's like that, for a white guy you're great... you totally are... I'd better double check by comparing with Hope to make sure though!"

**40.) Try to touch me**

"Hey Light!" Snow called out happily to his future sister-in-law. He was still pretty bruised from his encounter with Fang earlier that day, he didn't understand why he was suddenly attacked by her, but at least Lightning would hear him out.

"Fang was really mean to me~" he moaned, casually draping an arm around Farron. This turned out to be a fatal mistake, because Lightning is very protective of her personal space. For the second time that day, Snow ended up sprawled on the floor in a semi-conscious state. "I just wanted... to say hi... what is it with these people?" he mumbled as he tried to regain his strength.

Meanwhile, Lightning decided that she needed an urgent bathroom break...

x~x~x~x~x

**As usual:****  
><strong>32- Blitzball! Ah, Final Fantasy X memories~ ^_^<strong>  
><strong>33- I honestly have no earthly idea how or why that turned out the way it did...<strong>  
><strong>35- Best. Cut. Scene. EVER.<strong>**

**Anywho, lemme know what you guys and girls think~ I'm actually planning something a **_**little **_**different for the next chapter because an upcoming rule gave me an idea... review to find out what will happen! ;D**  
><strong>For reading this: Thank you, merci, danke, arigato, grazie, gracias etc. :P<strong>

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	5. Rule 41

**Righty-o, I mentioned that I wanted to try something different for this chapter, and so you may be wondering: "WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE RULE THIS TIME? O_O LAZY AUTHOR! -.-"  
>The reason for that is: this rule got me thinking, and I thought that I could write a whole chapter based on it :P And so without further ado: this is how Facebook may have looked if our FF: XIII character's had it! Don't worry, it looks longer than it really is but it won't take you long to read through it :P<br>Yes... I know I haven't updated in ages, but that's because my school is a totalitarian dictatorship who like to monopolise my time -.-**

x~x~x~x~x

**41.) Put effort into your Facebook profile**

Prologue Stuff

**Oerba Yun Fang posted:** Just woken up from stasis, time to kick some ass!  
>[Oerba Dia Vanille likes this]<p>

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Let's not over do it though!xxx

**Oerba Yun Fang:** I know I know... hey Vanille, it's been _ages _since I was last on here! How do I change my name again?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Erm... I think you go into Account or something :Sxxx

**_Oerba Yun Fang changed her name to Fang The Destroyer_**

**Fang The Destroyer:** Nice! Thanks Vanille!

* * *

><p><strong><em>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers has gone from 'being in a relationship' to 'engaged' with Serah Farron<em>**  
>[Serah Farron, Yuj, Maqui, Gadot and Lebreau like this.]<p>

**Gadot:** Way to go man!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Thnks dude!

**Serah Farron:** ^_^ xx

**Lebreau:** You guys are so cute together~ All the best! :D

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** WHERE THE HELL IS THE DISLIKE BUTTON? -.-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Hey c'mon, dnt be lyk dat. Ur my sis now! :)

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** NEVER call me that. Serah, we need to talk!

**Serah Farron:** ...

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> Just been to an awesome fireworks show with my mum! Love you mum! ^_^ xxx  
>[Nora Estheim likes this.]<p>

**Nora Estheim:** I love you to honey! xxxx

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> Fireworks show was pretty damn good

**Jihl Nabaat:** Lovely, now please hurry back to HQ. We need Dajh

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** At least let me have this night with him Nabaat!

**Jihl Nabaat:** Fine, we'll come there

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** -.-

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter One- The Hanging Edge

**_Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron and Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy are now friends_**

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:** Just been sat on a train with some crazy lady who just killed everyone O_O

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Don't be such a wimp, and get off FB because we have work to do

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** You're on FB too!

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> THE ARMY IS NO MATCH FOR NORA!  
>[Yuj, Maqui, Gadot and Lebreau like this.]<p>

**Gadot:** Let's kick some Sanctum ass!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** U bet!

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> Now the crazy lady is trying to make me fight a giant metal scorpion thing...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** *sigh* Where is the dislike button? Just quit your wining.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> I'm scared... I got caught up in the Purge with mum...

**Nora Estheim:** Don't worry sweetie!xxx

**Hope Estheim:** Those guys that have just arrived are scary... xxx

**Nora Estheim:** They're here to help us, I will fight with them xxx

**Hope Estheim:** NO!xxx

**Nora Estheim:** Don't worry honey, mum's are tough!xxx

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer:<strong> God dammit! VANILLE! Where the hell did you run off to?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I don't know... I'm at something called a Purge :S xxx

**Fang The Destroyer:** What the hell's a Purge?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I have no idea... xxx

* * *

><p><strong><em>Nora Estheim went from being 'alive' to 'dead'<em>**

**_Hope Estheim went from being 'a spineless wimp' to being 'a spineless wimp holding a grudge'_**

**Hope Estheim posted:** I HATE THAT BLONDE GUY! ! :'(

**_Hope Estheim and Oerba Dia Vanille are now friends_**

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** There there, it'll all be okay x

**Hope Estheim:** How do you know? :(

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I have a plan... x

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:<strong> Crazy lady is asking too much of this old man!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** I'm getting tired of this -_-

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villers posted:<strong> Onto the Vestige to save my fiancee!  
>[Serah Farron, Yuj, Maqui, Gadot and Lebreau like this.]<p>

**Serah Farron:** Bring food!xxxxxxx

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Will do! :Dxxxxxxxxx

* * *

><p><strong>Gadot posted:<strong> Crap! Some kids just stole some flying motorbikes!

**Maqui:** Well played Gadot -.- You were supposed to watch them!

**Gadot:** I didn't see you helping! -_-

**Yuj:** Oi Gadot! Don't pick on my precious Maqui!

**Maqui:** *sigh*

**Gadot:** 'Precious'? What the hell?

**Maqui:** Don't ask...

**Yuj:** Maqui~~! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Gadot:** O_O

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Two- The Pulse Vestige

**Hope Estheim posted:** I'm scared...

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Don't worry, it'll all be okay~! ^_^ x

**Hope Estheim:** We are in a Pulse Vestige!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Just leave it to me! :) x

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:<strong> Old man won't shut the hell up

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** All I'm saying is that we should be careful!

**Chocoling:** Kweh!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** A chocoling has Facebook? Unbelievable...

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> Wow... this place is like a super fun maze! ^.^  
>[Serah Farron likes this.]<p>

**Serah Farron:** I know right? Just hurry, cuz I'm kind of in trouble... xxxx

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Will do! Your hero is coming!xxxx

**_Serah Farron went from being 'conscious' to 'unconscious'_**

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** NOOOOOOOOO! Hang in there, I'll save you!

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> I must get my revenge!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Why? :/x

**Hope Estheim:** The blonde guy... he killed my mother!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Well then you'll just have to tell him! I just found him on FB, I'll add him for you :Dx

**Hope Estheim:** Woah! Wait!

**_Snow 'The Hero' Villiers is now friends with Hope Estheim and Oerba Dia Vanille_**

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Oh boy! New friends! :D

**Hope Estheim:** ...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** ?

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vanille posted:<strong> Just got saved by our new friend Snow! ^_^ x  
>[Snow 'The Hero' Villiers likes this.]<p>

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** I just did what a hero should do! :D

**Hope Estheim:** ...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** ?

* * *

><p><strong>The Great Fal Cie Anima posted:<strong> OMG yay~! Finally someone has come to visit me in the Vestige! ^_^ I'd better make a good impression!  
>[The Epic Fal Cie Titan and The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle like this.]<p>

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan:** Oh good, it's about time you actually saw someone! You're always on FB XD

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle:** ^So true!

**The Great Fal Cie Anima:** Hmph! You guys try being trapped in here for countless decades then!

* * *

><p><strong><em>Serah Farron went from being a 'Pulse l'Cie' to a 'Crystal'<em>**

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron posted:** Snow! This is entirely your fault!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Woah! Dn't u dare blame me!

**Hope Estheim:** ...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Of course I will!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** I care bout Serah mre thn anything!

**Hope Estheim:** ...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Why does this Hope person keep doing that after you post something?

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Nt sure :S

**Hope Estheim:** ...

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy**: We'd all better add each other

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Agreed! :D x

**_Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy and Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron are now friends with Hope Estheim and Oerba Dia Vanille._**

**_Snow 'The Hero' Villiers and Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy are now friends._**

* * *

><p><strong>The Great Fal Cie Anima posted:<strong> SQUEE! They're almost here!  
>[The Epic Fal Cie Titan and The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle like this.]<p>

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle:** Don't blow it dude!

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan:** Yeah, and good luck~

**The Great Fal Cie Anima:** Thanks guys ^_^

* * *

><p><strong><em>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy, Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron, Hope Estheim and Snow 'The Hero' Villiers went from being human to being Pulse l'Cie<em>**

* * *

><p><strong>The Great Fal Cie Anima posted:<strong> They started attacking me! :'(

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan:** :O NO! They didn't did they?

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle:** How rude! Why did they do that?

**The Great Fal Cie Anima:** I don't know! They just randomly attacked me! :(

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan:** Did you try and clear things up?

**The Great Fal Cie Anima:** Yeah, but then they... they...

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle:** It's alright, just tell us what they did :)

**The Great Fal Cie Anima:** THEY LOOKED AT ME FUNNY! :'(

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan:** Oh, HELL NO! Did you turn those bitches? -.-

**The Great Fal Cie Anima:** Of course I did! :(

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle:** Well it serves them right, you did the right thing!

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan:** ^Defo!

**The Great Fal Cie Anima:** Thank you so much you two :)

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Three- Lake Bresha

**Oerba Dia Vanille posted:** Wow... this place is so pretty~! ^_^ Like a winter wonderland! :D x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Are you always this cheerful?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Yep~~! ^.^ x

**Hope Estheim:** I'm scared of this place...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Dn't wrry! The hero iz here, and I will protect all damsels in distress!

**Hope Estheim:** I'M A GUY!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** O_O U serious? !

**Hope Estheim:** I hate you...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** *oblivious* Well you look kinda like a damsel so I'll still save ya :)

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I think it's cute that you look like a girl :D x

**Hope Estheim:** GAH!

* * *

><p><strong><em>The Great Fal Cie Anima went from being<em>**** _'unfrozen in a lake' to_ _'frozen in a lake'_**

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan: **Dude! You okay? HEY!

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle: **Annie? You okay?

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan: **Yo, what are we gonna do C?

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle: **I don't know...

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan: **Actually, while you're here, can you give me your opinion on the pic I'm thinking of making my new profile pic?

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle: **Sure I guess

**_The Epic Fal Cie Titan_**** _changed his profile picture_**

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle: **Haha! That's EPIC! I love the way you can pull of the whole backwards cap and sunglasses thing! :D

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan: **Thanks man, I thought it was pretty sick!

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle: **But seriously, what are we gonna do about Annie?

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan: **Good question... :/

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted: <strong>Sweet! I hve magic powers!  
>[Yuj, Maqui, Gadot and Lebreau like this.]<p>

**Yuj: **That's so cool!

**Lebreau: **So jel right now!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron: **Are all of you idiots? Why do you think he has magic powers? -.-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers: **Isn't it cuz I'm 'The Chosen One'?

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron: **Oh dear God, surely you can't be that much of an idiot...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers: **Bt I hve a mark and everything!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** We all have one idiot!

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> Wait... so do all you guys have marks?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Yup, mines on my thigh~! ^_^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** On my chest dude

**Hope Estheim:** Uwah! It's on my wrist! :'(

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Where's urs sis?

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** That is none of your concern!

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted: <strong>So I'm a l'Cie now? I'm so scared! :'(

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy: **Just asking, but is there ever a time when you're not scared?

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **Aww, he's so cute~ ^_^ x

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers: **Dn't worry! The hero will always save u! :D

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **That's so sweet~ The big strong hero will save the cute little guy~ ^.^ x

**Hope Estheim: **I am not cute! I'm just scared...

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **But there's no need for that cuz your hero will save you ^_^ x

**Hope Estheim: **I hate him and I refuse to let him help me -.-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers: ***oblivious* He really iz shy :P

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **...kyaa~

**_Oerba Dia Vanille became a fangirl and discovered FanFiction_**

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted: <strong>Oh yay, another giant metal scorpion thing -.-

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron: **Stop writing about it and help us dammit!

**Chocoling: **Kweh! -.-

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy: **There there chocoling, I know she's grumpy but calling her _that _is a bit much

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** What did it say?

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy: **Err... I don't think you wanna know

**Lightning 'The Gearless' Farron: **Try me -_-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers: **Sis! Cool guy! A little help wud be gr8 rite bout now!

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **^Agreed!x

**Hope Estheim: **I'm scared...

**Chocoling: **Kewh kewh -.-

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron: **Oi! What did it just say to the girly kid?

**Hope Estheim: **I AM NOT GIRLY!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy: **Haha! He said: 'What else is new?' XD

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **Aww, that's sooo harsh! But lol! :P x

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron: **Urgh, I hate that expression -_-

**_Hope Estheim just got pwned by the giant metal scorpion thing_**

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy: **Yeah... I think we should probably fight now :/

**Lightning 'The Fearless Farron: **I agree

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers: **Dn't wrry Hope! I'll be an awesome hero! U just focus on getting stronger... hehe, evn the gurls r stronger thn u, u rlly r lyk a gurl :P

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **Kyaa~

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron posted:<strong> Just left the blonde idiot behind; best decision made so far  
>[Hope Estheim likes this]<p>

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Jst cuz i cre bout Serah!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** You really are an idiot

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** BANTER! !

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted: <strong>Why the hell is everything attacking us? ! -.-  
>[Chocoling likes this]<p>

**Chocoling: **Kewh!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy: **^Well said!

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted: <strong>Uwah! Evil flying bird thing is attacking us! :'(

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **NOOOOOO! Your hero isn't here! :( x

**Hope Estheim: **Please stop saying that... oh yay! Just beat the evil flying thing! :D

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted: <strong>Evil flying bird thing the kid mentioned came back for a round two -.- What a bitch! -_-

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron: **WILL YOU ALL GET OFF FB AND HELP ME? !

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> Sweet! Just got some blue chicks that morph into a motorcycle! :D

**_Fang The Destroyer and Snow 'The Hero' Villiers are now friends_**

**Fang The Destroyer:** Blue chicks that morph into a motorcycle... are you a retard?

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** OMFG! ! They can do a super epic ice ramp! :DDDDDD

**Fang The Destroyer:** I'll take that as a yes...

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Four- The Vile Peaks

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:** Wow, the scenery in this place is totally great -.-  
>[Oerba Dia Vanille likes this]<p>

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I know right? ^_^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp'Katzroy:** Sarcasm little lady... hey, where'd grumpy and girly boy go?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Oh, they totally left us! :D x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Charming... you really are happy all the time aren't ya?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** You bet! Now, let's run to where there's less danger! ^.^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I hear that!

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron posted:<strong> Urgh, can't go on like this. Gonna have to ditch the kid

**Hope Estheim:** Hey! I promise I won't slow you down!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Then how come you're still at the bottom of that cliff that I just skillfully jumped up?

**Hope Estheim:** Uh... well...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Yeah, no offense or anything but: bye

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> I-I'm all alone... I'm scared! :'(

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Don't worry hun, we'll travel with you~! ^_^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Yeah, don't sweat it

**Hope Estheim:** Oh good, as long as I'm with you guys everything should be okay :)

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> THINGS ARE NOT OKAY! ! MEANIE GIANT ROBOT IS ATTACKING! !

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Oi! Some healing would be nice!

**Hope Estheim:** But I'm scared! :'(

**Chocoling:** Kewh kewh KEWH!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I had no idea that word could be used as a noun O_O

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron posted:<strong> So I somehow ended up saddled with the kid again...

**Hope Estheim:** Hehe "n.n

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> Hey! Robot riding is totally fun! :D

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** I'm impressed... well done Hope

**Hope Estheim:** :)

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:<strong> Just had the biggest bitch of a battle ever against some thing called Odin! -_-

**Hope Estheim:** I was so scared!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** So I'm in control of a man that turns into a horse? Interesting...

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vannile:<strong> Wow, we found a totally cool scap-heap maze place! ^_^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I'm too old for this...

**Chocoling:** Kewh!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** What did he say? x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** He says he can't be arsed with this

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Five- The Gapra Whitewood

**Hope Estheim posted:** Hey... this place looks pretty nice

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Yeah, just be on your guard. The Gapra Whitewood is a facility for creating hybrid monsters

**Hope Estheim:** O_O

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron posted:<strong> As a responsible adult and member of the Guardian Corps, I have just given a teenager a dangerous knife.

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** You sure tht's a gd idea? ! o.O

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Oh, you're still alive :/

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Haha, ur such a joker! Course I am, I'm the hero!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** *sigh* Seriously, why is there not a dislike button on this infernal site?

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron posted:<strong> So the kid was doing really well, and even lead the way for a bit. But now that we're up against some big-ass monster thing...

**Hope Estheim:** I-I'm scared...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** *sigh* I guess I'll have to build this kid's confdence up bit by bit. In the meantime: Hope, stop cowering in the corner and help me!

**Hope Estheim:** R-Right!

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> I'm going to have a heart attack soon, I just know it!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Hey, we beat that boss didn't we? Just look at the plus side: We're heading to your home

**Hope Estheim:** Yeah... okay then, I can do this!

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Six- The Sunleth Waterscape

**Oerba Dia Vanille posted:** Ah! This place is soooo pretty~! ^_^ x  
>[Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy likes this]<p>

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I gotta admit, it is pretty nice

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I wish Fang were here to see this :( x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Fang?

**Fang The Destroyer:** Trust me Vanille, I wish I were with you as well! I'm here with some stupid blonde guy -.-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villers:** Hey! I thought tht we were friends!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** You know Snow? :)xxx

**Fang The Destroyer:** You know this airhead?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Yeah! He's really nice :D Btw, GET BACK TO HOPE ALREADY SNOW! x

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Huh? Why? He's safe with sis

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** But you're his hero!x

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Haha! Yeah, I AM the hero aren't I? :D _[He's totally oblivious to what she means]_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy and Fang The Destroyer became friends<em>**

**Fang The Destroyer to Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Oi! You'd better take good care of Vanille or else you'll be sorry! -.-

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Yes ma'am!

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vanille posted:<strong> Yay~! I can magically change the weather! ^_^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Hey! Be careful with that thing Vanille! We don't want it to be sunny now!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Huh? Why not?

**_Oerba Dia Vanille and Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy just got attacked by a huge flying bird and an annoying lizard that has armour that makes it virtually indestructable_**

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** THIS IS WHY!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Oh... oops? "n.n

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> So some how we made it through the freaky weather changing parts...

**Chocoling:** Kewh! -_-

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** What did he say? :)x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** He said that he couldn't be arsed going through all of that

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Why not? It was totally fun~! :D x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Ah well, at least we can get out of here now

* * *

><p><strong>Chocoling posted:<strong> Kewh, kewh, kewh kewh... KEWH! ! -.- _[Translation: Currently being attacked by Enki and Enlil... this is gonna take a while! ! -.-]_

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I hear that! Hey Vanille... mind if I ask you something?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Sure :)x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Well... it's just that... when you fight...

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Yeah? x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** You know you kinda sound like... well you make certain noises that are... well...

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Oh, you mean my fierce battle noises? :D Don't I sound totally scary? I do it to intimidate the monsters! ! ^_^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** That's you being intimidating? ! O_O

**Chocoling:** Kewh Kewh! _[Translation: It sounds more like you- *I am not allowed to document what the chocoling said, it is extremely rude*]_

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vanille posted:<strong> Just found out about something really bad...

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** You okay Vanille?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I'm sorry... x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** For what? :S

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** For... actually never mind x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** ?

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **Don't worry! ^_^ Let's just head to that Nautilus place :D x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Okay then...

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Seven- Palumpolum

**Hope Estheim posted:** Wow... my home town is completely different. There are so many PSICOM officers everywhere...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** It's okay Hope, just focus on getting home.

**Hope Estheim:** Right!

* * *

><p><strong>The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle posted: <strong>OMG! Some of the evil people that hurt Annie are here!

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan: **You fer real?

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle: **Totally!

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan: **Well attack 'em! Avenge our dear Annie!

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle: **Ah crap... they just left...

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan: **Well played -.-

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:<strong> Just used me epic hero skillz and the blue chicks to pwn loads of PSICOM dudes! ! :D

**Lightning 'The Fealress' Farron:** Although I hate to say it: Well done Snow

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Ah it was nothing sis! ^_^

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Right then, you take Hope to his home. It's safer if we split up, so I'll meet up with you there

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Got it!

**Hope Estheim:** ...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** ?

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> This. Sucks. -_-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Haha! Dn't b so gloomy! The hero iz here with ya! :D

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** WHAT? ! You guys are back together? ! Sazh, can we meet back up with the others? x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** No, we're ages away from them!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Oh man :( Guess I'll just go back on FF dot net x

**Hope Estheim:** What's that?

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Some website she's become obsessed with

**Hope Estheim:** What's on it? :S

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Ask tht l8r, we gt wrk 2 do Hope!

**Hope Estheim:** Fine...

* * *

><p><strong><em>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron and Fang The Destroyer became friends<em>**

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron posted:** Finally! Someone who actually makes a decent ally!

**Fang The Destroyer:** Heh, I'm just that good ;)

**Lightning 'The Fealress' Farron:** But mind if I say something?

**Fang The Destroyer:** Sure

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** You have me throughly confused. I mean, you're tanned, but you have an australian type accent, yet you're wearing a sari! What's up with that?

**Fang The Destroyer:** I like to keep people guessing

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** And I thought I was complex...

* * *

><p><strong>Yuj posted:<strong> Okay, so Imma just get this off my chest: Why the hell am I not with the people that seem to be getting shit done? ! -.-  
>[Gadot likes this]<p>

**Gadot:** That's what I wanna know man, we are NORA! We deserve the spotlight!

**Yuj:** Exactly! And have you seen my hair? It is far too epic to be sidelined!

**Lebreau:** Would you two stop bitching and do something useful?

**Yuj:** That's freaking easy for you to say! You get cute little Maqui all to yourself! -_-

**Lebreau:** Okay, 1.) You need help. 2.) I'm only with him because we agreed to split up!

**Yuj:** Well I said I wanted to go with Maqui!

**Maqui:** Yuj, no offense but when you're all weird like this I just don't feel comfortable around you

**Yuj:** Just admit your love already!

**Maqui:** Oh dear God...

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> Sweet! Almost at Hope's place, we r kicking ass! We make a prtty sick team! :D

**Hope Estheim:** We do not, I can't stand you.

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Haha! Ur a joker lyk sis! :P

**Hope Estheim:** Whatever, carry on being delusional -_-

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I wish I was there right now! :( x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** You... you need help little lady

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Hey Hope, come off FB 4 a sec. New enemies 4 us 2 beat!

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> I AM SO SCARED RIGHT NOW! OH MY GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** I AGREE! ! THE EVIL FLYING MOTORCYCLES R GONNA KILL US! !

**Hope Estheim:** WHAT DO WE DO? ! :'(

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** I HAV NO IDEA! THESE ENEMIES DN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE! WHO EVR HEARD OF AN EVIL FLYING MOTORCYCLE? !

**Hope Estheim:** LET'S JUST USE ALL OUR SHROUDS! !

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** GR8 PLAN! !

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> HOLY CRAP THE SHROUDS DIDN'T WORK AND WE'RE GETTING PWNED! !

**Hope Estheim:** I DON'T WANT TO DIE THIS WAY! !

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** OKAY, LET'S JUST CALM DWN 4 A SECOND! JUST CALM DOWN! !

**Hope Estheim:** I'M AS CALM AS I CAN BE WHILE BEING SHOT AT BY A MOTORBIKE OF DEATH! !

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** OKAY NEW PLAN: WE RUN AND WE JUST DON'T STOP, NO MATTER WHAT! !

**Hope Estheim:** AGREED! !

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> I... I'm alive...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** I thought we were gonners!

**Hope Estheim:** Well at least there aren't any evil flying motorcycles of doom up on this roof. We should be safe now, right?

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** U bet!

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> SNOW YOU LIAR! ! YOU SAID THAT WE'D BE SAFE!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** How was I supposed 2 know we'd be attacked by an ufdhjsbfd sjbfgdfj? !

**Hope Estheim:** It's called an Ushumgal Subjugator idiot...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Yeah, tht's wot I typed!

**Hope Estheim:** Right... anyways: WE ARE GONNA DIE! !

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** No we won't just gt off FB and heal me!

**Hope Estheim:** But I don't like you, I'm scared, and ceebs so yeah... I'd rather not

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Let's just get through this first and then you can say whatever!

**Hope Estheim:** Fine! But I swear, death is looking like the much better option at this point -_-

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> AWESOME! We just kicked it'z ass! ! :D

**Hope Estheim:** Just shut up already.

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Hey, dn't be so cold! :P

**Hope Estheim:** Why shouldn't I be? You take no responsibility whatsoever! Even when people get hurt, you just blindly charge into everything like an idiot!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Hope, I...

**Hope Estheim:** You killed my mother! ! I HATE you!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** No! I... I didn't mean-

**_Hope Estheim and Snow 'The Hero' Villiers were just caught up in a massive explosion, in which they fell off a multi-story building_**

**_Hope Estheim and Snow 'The Hero' Villiers went from being 'conscious' to 'unconscious'_**

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> I... I have no idea what I should do...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Where is Hope? !

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** I have him, but he's out cold... Light, I...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Nevermind that for now. Just focus on getting somewhere safe

* * *

><p><strong><em>Hope Estheim and Snow 'The Hero' Villiers went from being 'one-sided enemies' to 'it's complicated'<em>**

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> Damn, another ufbdhg snjfdghdf iz attacking!

**Hope Estheim:** You idiot! You can't possibly fight it on your own!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Dn't wrry... I'll be fine!

**_Snow 'The Hero' Villiers just got pwned in under 2 seconds_**

**Hope Estheim:** Ah crap!

**_Hope Estheim has finally stopped being a wimp, and is now attacking the ugjdfbg sfkjgbd_**

**Hope Estheim:** It's an Ushumgal Subjugator!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Don't worry Hope! We've got your back!

**_Hope Estheim and Fang The Destroyer are now friends_**

**Fang The Destroyer:** You bet! Now let's kick some ass!

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> I'm home...

**Fang The Destroyer:** Pretty nice place you got here kid

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** It may be nice, but let's just hope that it's safe...

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron posted:<strong> So... remember how I hoped this place was safe? It was in vain -_-

**Fang The Destroyer:** It ain't that bad! Now we get to beat up some damn Sanctum puppets!

* * *

><p><strong>Yaag Rosch posted:<strong> Just got my ass handed to me by some bloody l'Cie! -_-  
>[Jihl Nabaat likes this]<p>

**Jihl Nabaat:** Hah! You're useless

**Yaag Rosch:** Shut it Nabaat! I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now

**Cid Raines:** Yes, lay off him. You want to go drinking? It always helps me when I feel down

**Yaag Rosch:** Why not? I think getting drunk is the only thing I can do in this situation

**Jihl Nabaat:** Oi! I'm under stress too! I'm coming as well

**Cid Raines:** Whatever, the more the merrier

* * *

><p><strong>Jihl Nabaat posted:<strong> Oh dear God, I'm NEVER going drinking with these idiots again! First they spill my beer, and now they're crying on the damn floor! Pathetic!

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Eight- Nautilus

**Oerba Dia Vanille posted:** Wow~ This Nautilus place is so cool~! ^_^ And the festival-parade thing is amazing~! ^.^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I'm glad you like it :)

**Chocoling:** Kewh, kewh!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Okay okay, we'll go and see some chocobos now, kay?

**Chocoling:** Kewh! :D

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Aww, he's happy~! ^_^ x

* * *

><p><strong>Chocoling posted:<strong> Kewh kewh kewh~ :D _[Translation: Yay, I'm making loads of new friends~ :D]_

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Sazh, this place is the best! ^_^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Yeah... I wish Dajh was here to see this

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** ...

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Hey, I'm gonna turn myself in Vanille. I can't do all of this running anymore

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** What? ! O_O YOU CAN'T x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I have to. Don't worry, you'll be fine on your own :)

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** But... But I know who did it! I know the l'Cie who ruined Dajh's life!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Really? Then tell me!

**_Oerba Dia Vanille and Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy are suddenly attacked by a crapton of PSICOM dudes_**

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> I'm too damn old for this...

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Don't worry, we can do this! Things can't get much worse right? x

**_Oerba Dia Vanille and Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy find themselves in a battle against the Midlight Reaper_**

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** You were saying? -.-

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Ahh... hehe "n.n

**Chocoling:** Kewh KEWH kewh! _[Translation: Can NOT be arsed!]_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Dajh Katzroy went from being a 'Cocoon l'Cie' to being a 'crystal'<em>**

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:** No... Dajh...

**Jihl Nabat:** You should be proud, your son is a hero of Cocoon. Oh by the way, I'm sending you a link to a video in your inbox, I think that you'll find it interesting

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** What? ... Vanille...

**Jihl Nabaat:** Well yes, as you can see it was that girl you've grown so fond of that ruined your lives, so why don't you go and take revenge?

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** DAMMIT!

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vanille to Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:<strong> I'm so sorry Sazh... I understand if you want to kill me x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Oh hell no! You think you can get away that easily?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Then what do you want from me?

**_Just as things are getting dramatic, Oerba Dia Vanille and Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy are attacked once again_**

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> So I get a firely flaming car thing of doom? I guess that's cool, although it's a shame that I'll never use it

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** What do you mean? x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Goodbye cruel world!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** NOOOOOOOOO! x

* * *

><p><strong>Jihl Nabaat posted:<strong> Haha! Just had an awesome day in which I complete pwned everyone. I'm off for a few drinks

**Yaag Rosch:** Mind if I join you? I really need a drink

**Cid Raines:** Ditto that!

**Jihl Nabaat:** I guess...

* * *

><p><strong>Jihl Nabaat posted:<strong> Why the hell did I agree to drink with these idiots again?

**Yaag Rosch:** Heeeeyyyyyy donttt eb mane!

**Cid Raines: **ufhds dshadg dsahdgsgggggggggggg**  
><strong>

**Jihl Nabaat:** You two are too drunk to type, let alone be on FB! You've barely had anything to drink either! Lightweights!

**Yaag Rosch:** Buttttttt iii ble fdfdsfgyi

**Jihl Nabaat:** For Fal Cie's sake, sod this! I'm going to find someone who can actually hold their alcohol! -_-

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Nine- The Palamecia

**Fang The Destroyer posted:** Okay... why are we on this ship again?

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Good question... I forgot. Let's just beat everyone up

**Fang The Destroyer:** Sounds good!

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vanille posted:<strong> Sazh... thank Fal Cie you're okay! x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Yeah...

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I'm sorry... hey, where are we? x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Err... I think on a ship of some kind?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Huh? Why? :S x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** No earthly idea, I just go with it. None of the places we end up seem to make that much sense

**Fang The Destroyer:** Vanille? You're on a ship?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Yup~ :D xxx

**Fang The Destroyer:** I'M COMING FOR YOU VANILLE!

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vanille posted:<strong> Yay~! I'm back with Fang~! ^_^ xxxxxxxx  
>[Fang The Destroyer likes this]<p>

**Fang The Destroyer:** That's the last time I'm letting you out of my sight!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Okay~ OMG yay! Snow and Hope are here! :D x

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Yo! :D

**Hope Estheim:** Hi :)

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Does this place have wifi? I need to check something ^.^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Oh God... not that fiction site again! You need help!

**Hope Estheim:** Seriously, what's on that site? :S

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Cn't be anyfin 2 bad, just ignore it Hope :P

**Hope Estheim:** Yeah, I guess you're right

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> Woah! Creepy old guy pulling the strings and is a secret Fal Cie? Mind=Blown!  
>[Snow 'The Hero' Villiers, Hope Estheim, Fang The Destroyer and Oerba Dia Vanille like this]<p>

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** IKR? !

**Hope Estheim:** I totally didn't see that coming!

**Fang The Destroyer:** I'm still all 'WTF? O_O'

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** This is so weird~ :/ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Gotta admit though, I'm a fan of his. He totally pwned Nabaat for me!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Yeah~! :D x

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** OI! ALL OF YOU GET OFF FACEBOOK RIGHT NOW AND HELP ME! I CAN'T FIGHT THIS IDIOT ON MY OWN!

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> Urgh, old man is a total douche -.-  
>[Snow 'The Hero' Villiers likes this]<p>

**Chocoling:** Kewh! _[Translation: Agreed!]_

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Tht fite waz horrible!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** It wasn't THAT bad you guys

**Fang The Destroyer:** Oh really? Well then next time, why don't YOU try being the Sentinel and taking crap loads of hits, and Snow and I will simply stab the thing to death without taking any damage whatsoever!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** ...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Haha! Nice 1 Fang! XD

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> So our focus is to destroy Cocoon? FML...  
>[Snow 'The Hero' Villiers, Hope Estheim and Lightning 'The Fealress' Farron like this]<p>

**Hope Estheim:** We'll find some way around it!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** He iz rite! We will save Cocoon! I'm da hero!

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> Hey, Afro man is pretty sick at flying airships

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I'd say thanks and agree most of the time, but this thing is flying itself!

**Hope Estheim:** Ah! We're being shot at!

* * *

><p><strong>Yaag Rosch posted:<strong> How the bloody hell did they get away? Dammit! -_-

**Cid Raines:** I foresee a drinking session...

**Yaag Rosch:** Definitely!

**Cid Raines:** Should we ask Nabaat?

**Yaag Rosch:** Oh she's dead, or in an Intensive Care unit or something. She was mean anyway

**Cid Raines:** Fair enough, see you in a bit then

* * *

><p><strong>Jihl Nabaat posted:<strong> As if no one is visiting me in my hour of need! You are all wankers! -.-

_**Jihl Nabaat and The Great Fal Cie Anima are now friends**_

**The Great Fal Cie Anima: **At least there's someone for me to talk to on this ward now :)

**Jihl Nabaat**: A Fal Cie? ! Wait... weren't you frozen in some lake? I read some reports that said so

**The Great Fal Cie Anima: **When I thawed out, I was taken to be treated here

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan: **Dude! YOU'RE ALIVE! :DDDDDDDDDD

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle: **I'm so happy Annie! I was so worried about you!

**The Great Fal Cie Anima: **I'm so lucky to have friends like you guys :)

**Jihl Nabaat: **I wish someone actually gave a toss about me -.- I guess it's my line of work that landed me with no friends :/

**The Great Fal Cie Anima: **Well when you get better, why not try a different job?

**Jihl Nabaat: **Well I quite fancy the idea of having my own T.V show, after all I have the looks

**The Great Fal Cie Anima: **That sounds great! :)

**Jihl Nabaat: **Would you like to be a guest on it at some point?

**The Great Fal Cie Anima: **Definitely! :D**  
><strong>

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Ten- The Fifth Ark

**Fang The Destroyer posted:** Aw, this place feels like home :)  
>[Oerba Dia Vanille likes this]<p>

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Yup~~! ^_^ xxx

**Hope Estheim:** Seems kinda freaky to me :/

**Fang The Destroyer:** How dare you mock where we come from? This place is awesome!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Look, before you start some debate of epic proportions, come off FB and focus on getting stronger. That's the sole point of even being here

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I don't like this one bit... I'm too old for this!

**Lightning 'The Fealress' Farron:** Believe me, I'm not exactly thrilled. Where is a dislike button when you need it? -.-

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> I hav no idea wot 2 belive any mre! 1st sum motorbikes attack me in Palumpolum, and now sum statue thingies just attacked me! :(

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I gotta admit, these enemies just keep gettin weirder and weirder

* * *

><p><em><strong>Lebreau just posted 5 new photos in the album 'Me and Maqui Chilling :D'<strong>_  
>[Maqui likes this]<p>

**Maqui:** Haha! As if you put these up Lebreau! :P

**Lebreau:** Well they were pretty cool, it's good that we can save the day and still have fun at the same time :D

**Maqui:** Yeah :)

**Yuj:** You had a PHOTO SESH? ! Just the TWO of you? !

**Lebreau:** Yeah, so?

**Yuj:** ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME MAQUI? ! :'(

**Maqui:** We aren't even going out you idiot! -_-

**Gadot:** Oh God, Maqui would you hurry back already? Yuj has been suicidal these past few days!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Sup guys! Long tym no speak!

**Maqui:** Snow! As our leader, would you PLEASE talk some sense into Yuj?

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Huh? U 2 havin a lovers fite?

**Maqui:** WE ARE NOT LOVERS!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Srsly? But Yuj sed u were!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Oi! Snow, get in the damn fight and stop chatting on this stupid site!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Fine! Anyways, u 2 make up soon~ l8r!

**Maqui:** Why do I even bother? -.-

* * *

><p><strong>Cid Raines to Yaag Rosch:<strong> Yeah... so if I make it through the day then I'll definitely be needing a drink later!

**Yaag Rosch:** Why? What are you doing?

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> Okay, what the hell is going on? First the old guy is evil, and now Raines? ! You've gotta be kidding me!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** I giv up tryin 2 gt this anymre -.-

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** There's only so much this old man can take!

**Hope Estheim:** MIND LENDING ME, LIGHT AND VANILLE A HAND? THIS GUY'S IMPOSSIBLE!

**Fang The Destroyer:** Oh hell no! I ain't joining in, I'll end up taking all the hits and being sore in the morning! -_-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Sme here! We iz on strike!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Oh real hero like Snow -.-

_**Oerba Dia Vanille just got pwned by Cid Raines**_

**Fang The Destroyer:** VANILLE! Oh THAT'S it! Imma tear this guy limb from limb!

**_Fang The Destroyer literally lived up to her name..._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Cid Raines went from being 'a closeted l'Cie' to 'status unknown... yeah, we dunno if he's dead or crystal powder or whatever'<em>**

**Yaag Rosch commented:** WTAF? ! O_O

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:<strong> Well that fight was a nightmare -_-

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** You can say that again!

**Chocoling:** Kewh... kewh kewh? Kewh kewh kewh? [Translation: Wait... technically you are the 'bad guys' right? So shouldn't you have let the 'good guy' kill you so that Cocoon would be saved?]

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Well damn... you actually have a point! o.O

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** What did it say?

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Er... nothing. I think it's better if you didn't know, hehe "n_n

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** ?

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vanille posted:<strong> This place is becoming more and more like a maze~ :D x

**Hope Estheim:** I'm not sure that's a good thing, this is getting tedious! And there are so many monsters...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Ah, it ain't that bad! All of us r 2gether rite?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Kyaa~

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> Hey! Let's stop being depressed and do it! Let's topple da Sanctum!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** ...Well, it's worth a shot

**Hope Estheim:** Yeah, why not?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I'm in~! ^_^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Chocoling and I are in as well :)

**Fang The Destroyer:** Are you all idiots? I refuse to be a part of such stupid ideas! -_-

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Ah! Fang, don't get too worked up! xxx

**Fang The Destroyer:** Why the hell shouldn't I? I have a right to feel like this!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** No! She means that if you keep on stressing out then-

**Fang The Destroyer:** Stressing out? I'LL SHOW YOU STRESSED OUT!

_**Bahamut was summoned up and started another crazy Eidolen battle**_

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** THIS IS WHY WE TOLD YOU TO KEEP CALM!

**Fang The Destroyer:** Oh... my bad guys!

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> Haha! All you loser's wish you were me! I have an Eidolen that can fly!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Nah, I luv my motorbyk hybrid thing! :D

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** And Brynhildr is perfect for me! :)

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** To be fair... why have all of you guys got cool vehicles and I have a horse?

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Haha! LAME!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Shut it!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Oh man, I feel left out :( x

**Hope Estheim:** Totally know how you feel "-.-

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> Okay... so tell me again why I'm flying a Pulsian airship to Pulse?

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** 2 GT STRONGA!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I just wanna see my hometown ^_^ x

**Fang The Destroyer:** Same here

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Okay then...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** OI! Why are you on Facebook when you're flying an airship? !

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Oh yeah... whoops :P

**Hope Estheim:** Come to think of it, Pulse is kinda the same as abroad right? I've never been abroad before!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Samez! Oh man, dis iz gonna be awesome! HOLIDAY!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Actually... I haven't been abroad either. Well this will be interesting

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer to Oerba Dia Vanille:<strong> ARGH! They won't shut up about not having been abroad!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Yeah... it's pretty annoying :/ xxx

**Fang The Destroyer:** We're gonna have to do something!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** We could... pray? xxx

**Fang The Destroyer:** Pah! Like that's gonna work!

**_A giant flying monster came out of absolutely nowhere and whacked full force into the aircraft_**

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** It worked! :D xxx

**Fang The Destroyer:** O_O ... Sweet!

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> Urgh, just had a nightmare getting onto the ground!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Haha! It waz well gd!

**Fang The Destroyer:** Vanille, we're home... LET'S DO THIS! PULSE HERE WE COME!

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Eleven- Pulse

**_Hope Estheim went from being 'conscious' to 'unconscious'_**

**Oerba Dia Vanille posted:** EVERYONE! GET BACK RIGHT NOW! x

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** What's happened?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** HOPE'S COLLAPSED! :'( ...Snow! You're the only one that can save him! x

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Right! Wait... y me? :S

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** NEVER MIND THAT AND HURRY BACK HERE! (and possibly give him mouth to mouth...) x

* * *

><p><strong>Hope Estheim posted:<strong> I'm useless... Everyone would be better off if I just left now

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Don't be ridiculous Hope, we need you

**Hope Estheim:** No you don't! I just get in the way!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Aw crap... don't get too negative Hope!

**Hope Estheim:** I can't help it! I just want to fade out! :'(

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Cheer up man! We all care bout u! :D

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** ^Especially Snow ^_^ x

**Hope Estheim:** I've made my choice, I want you all to just leave me!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Cue dramatic Eidolen battle...

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> How come the smallest guy gets a total beastly Eidolen? !

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I'd chalk that up to a little thing called 'irony'

**Hope Estheim:** Wow... I can't believe I have my very own Eidolen! But, umm... can anyone tell me what it transforms into? It doesn't look like a vehicle or anything

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** I waz just tryin 2 figure dat out! :P

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Now I'm the only one without an Eidolen :( x

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** It'z fine, just hav a mental breakdown and you'll gt 1! :D

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** You didn't even think about what you just typed did you Snow?

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Nope! :D

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vanille posted:<strong> Just found out about these really fun sounding side-quest things~! ^_^ x

**Chocoling:** Kewh Kewh -_-_ [Translation: Can not be arsed -_-]_

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Dis place iz HUGE! o.O

**Fang The Destroyer:** Yup, ain't it the best?

**Hope Estheim:** I guess... but so far it's always been so clear what we were meant to do. There's way too much stuff thrown at us all at once!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Well, we'll just explore 4 a bit! :)

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Don't forget that the main point of the excursion is to get stronger and get to Oerba

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Hey! Look at dat giant tortoise thing! Can we fite it? :D

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Do you have a death wish?

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Hey c'mon! We can beat dat thing!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Well you have fun fighting that huge monster, and the rest of us will carry on living

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Kill joy -.-

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> Haha XDXDXDXDXDXD Sazh iz fighting wit a cactus! ! XDXDXDXDXD

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** It isn't funny! Damn plant is giving me attitude! -_-

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** It's just being friendly :) x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** It's taunting me dammit! ! -.-

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** We've been here less than a day and one of us is already insane...

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I WILL DESTROY YOU, YOU STUPID WALKING CACTUS! !

* * *

><p><strong><em>The Great Fal Cie Anima and Cid Raines are now friends<em>**

****The Great Fal Cie Anima posted:** **Yay! New friend! :D

**Cid Raines: **Huh? I'm not dead? Where is this?

**Jihl Nabaat: **Some random hospital ward

**Cid Raines: **Oh hey Nabaat, what's with the Fal Cie?

****The Great Fal Cie Anima:** **Oh don't mind me, I'm just recovering from pneumonia :P

**Cid Raines:** Okay... how did I even get here?

**Jihl Nabaat:** Trust me, I asked myself the same thing and have had no success in finding an answer. Just accept it and get better

**Cid Raines:** Right...

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vanille posted:<strong> Just gone through loads of caves and in a pretty meadow~! ^_^ x

**Fang The Destroyer:** Hey Vanille, you know how you wanted an Eidolen?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Yeah? xxx

**Fang The Destroyer:** I can get you one now if ya want

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Seriously? Yay! ^_^ xxx

**Fang The Destroyer:** I regained my memory, I remember everything, and you lied to me.

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** NOOOOOOOOOO!

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> Okay, Vanille what on earth is your Eidolen supposed to be?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I dunno, but it's cool~! ^.^ xxx

**Hope Estheim:** It's just as confusing as mine when it transforms :S

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Ah well, I still love it! :D x

* * *

><p><strong>Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron posted:<strong> I officially hate all acquatic life

**Fang The Destroyer:** You think you got problems? Try defending against an army of Ceratosaurs!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** They really hurt! :( This Sulyya Springs place iz mean! :(

**Fang The Destroyer:** Due to us having the hardest job as Sentinels, Snow and I are going on strike again

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Don't you dare! I swear to God I will send you spam and viruses!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Sheesh! At least giv us 5 mins sis!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Fine.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hope Estheim changed his name to The Simpering Maiden<strong>_

**The Simpering Maiden posted:** I love Snow so much with all my heart and I want us to be together forever~! I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU SNOW! ^_^ xxxxxxxxxx

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Oh yeah, cuz that totally isn't a frape or anything XD

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer to Oerba Dia Vanille:<strong> Haha! That frape was totally awesome!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I know~ :D xxx

**Fang The Destroyer: **His password was so abvious! 'Ilovemymummy123' :P

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **Aw, he's so sweet ^_^ xxx

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers to The Simpering Maiden: <strong>I'm confuzzled... u in luv wit me?

**The Simpering Maiden: **Hell no! Where did you get such a stupid idea?

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers: **You posted it dude!

**The Simpering Maiden: **Wha? Damn! VANILLE! FANG! -_-

**_The Simpering Maiden changed his name to Hope Estheim_**

**Fang The Destroyer: **Meh, you're no fun!

**Yuj: **I totally support your love bro! Hope things work out with our boss! Good luck! ;D

**Hope Estheim: **WHERE ARE PEOPLE GETTING THIS IDEA THAT I LOVE SNOW FROM? !

**Fang The Destroyer: **Imma change your name again!

**Hope Estheim: **No! Please don't!

_**Hope Estheim changed his name to Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim**_

**Fang The Destroyer: **Now you sound all badass! You're welcome!

****Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim: ****I-I never did anything like that with my mother! :'(

**Fang The Destroyer:** I know, but it's like cool slang. It doesn't mean you actually did :P

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim: **...You're just gonna change it back if I get rid of it aren't you?

**Fang The Destroyer:** Yup ;)

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim**: *sigh*

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** So wait... do u luv me? :S

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim**: FOR THE LAST TIME NO! -_-

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** ^DENAIL! x

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:<strong> Urgh... just the look of this Taejin's Tower place tells me it's gonna be a pain in the ass -_-

**Chocoling:** Kewh KEWH! -.- _[Can not be ARSED! -.-]_

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** I actually agree, this maze/puzzle thing is definately going to irk me

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** I hav no idea how dis place wrks :S

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer:<strong> So basically, we spend freaking HOURS lost inside this stupid tower, get attacked by endless monsters, and when we finally get somewhere, some big ass dragon thing attacks us! Are we not allowed a freaking break? !  
>[Snow 'The Hero' Villiers, Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim, Fang The Destroyer, Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron and Oerba Dia Vanille like this]<p>

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I think I speak for everyone here when I say: I COMPLETELY AGREE!

* * *

><p><strong>Oerba Dia Vanille posted:<strong> No... Fang, our village... xxx

**Fang The Destroyer:** Damn... a number was really done on this place :/

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** I'm going to explore the buildings x

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Everyone split up and look for anything that could be of any use, but stay alert

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** FANG! I found a picture of us on the table of a building~! ^_^ And I also found Bhakti~! :D xxx

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** That's pretty cool! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> Great, we get to fight the old fart again -_-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** This is gonna hurt :(

**Fang The Destroyer:** Tell me about it -.-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Strike? :D

**Fang The Destroyer:** Sounds good! :D

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Don't even think about it! Look, get Hope to give you buffs and Vanille to focus on healing spells so it won't hurt as much!

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** Yeah, we can do this!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Okay... Imma just say this now: I can't take you seriously with that name XD

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** It's not my fault! Fang will just change it again if I make it normal!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Change your password?

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** Tried it, she always finds it out -.-

**Fang The Destroyer:** I am just THAT good ;D

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Uhh, guys? Can we ban FB when we are in important battles, cuz I'm dying over here! x

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Right! Let's focus! ... Oh hey, Farmville gt an update :D

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** FOCUS SNOW!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Bt my cabbages!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Don't make me hurt you.

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Fine! Bt if ma veggies die u iz sorting it out!

* * *

><p><strong>Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim posted:<strong> Urgh, that was just painful!

**Fang The Destroyer:** Thank God it's over for now!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Okay, let's head back to Cocoon and put an end to the Fal Cie reign of terror!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** YEAH!

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Twelve- Eden

**Cid Raines posted:** So... I'm all better but I seem to have lost my willpower :/ Bummer -.-

**Yaag Rosch:** Oh, so that's why you've been acting like a dick lately?

**Cid Raines:** Yup, sorry about that :/

**Jihl Nabaat:** Wait, that doesn't make any sense! If you have no willpower, then how could you post that?

**Cid Raines:** Apparently I can write whatever I want on Facebook :S

**Jihl Nabaat:** Whatever, you're only going to get yourself killed

**The Great Fal Cie Anima:** Guess we'll see you back at the ward soon~! :D

* * *

><p><em><strong>Traffic Update: The streets of Cocoon are currently experiencing extreme traffic problems and drivers driving erratically and irresponsibly<strong>_

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim posted:** Guys, I think it would be safer if we tried to get to a rural area of Cocoon, we don't want to get caught in the traffic

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** No way, let's just charge in! :D

**Fang The Destroyer:** Agreed! Eidolens at the ready people!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** This is gonna be so much fun~! ^_^ x

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> Just obliterated the streets of Cocoon! That was freaking epic!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Can we do it again? :3

**Fang The Destroyer:** Sure, let's just go find some more traffic :)

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** You can terrorise the streets when we've completed our mission!

**Fang The Destroyer:** Fine, you're no fun -_-

* * *

><p><strong>Yaag Rosch posted:<strong> Okay, time to defeat the bloody l'Cie once and for all!

**Jihl Nabaat:** Three pints of beer says that you'll fail

**Yaag Rosch:** You're on!

* * *

><p><strong>Jihl Nabaat to Yaag Rosch:<strong> You lost yet?

**Yaag Rosch:** Not yet! They may have won round one, but I've still got fight left within me!

**Jihl Nabaat:** Right, just let me know you're defeated

**Yaag Rosch:** Oh ye of little faith -.-

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> Hey! Da giant tortoises r hre as well!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** How in hell did it fit through a warp gate? O_O

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Nt sure... cn we fite it now? :D

**Fang The Destroyer:** Yeah! Let's prove we can do it!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Are you both idiots?

**Fang The Destroyer:** Ah, calm down Light. I have a perfect strategy! Vanille, you need to do exactly what I say okay?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Right! ^_^ x

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** I refuse to fight this battle.

**_The group (minus Lightning) actually managed to pwn an Adamantoise using a combination of Vanille's Eidolen and her death spell_**

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** No way...

**Fang The Destroyer:** We are just too cool for words!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** ALRIGHT! Now time 2 beat up da Sanctum sum mre!

* * *

><p><strong>Gadot:<strong> Hey NORA, just got word the boss is back! Let's join back up and give him a hand!  
>[Yuj, Maqui, and Lebreau like this.]<p>

**Lebreau:** Finally, we'll be doing something useful!

**Maqui:** Things are gonna get interesting! :)

**Yuj:** Yay~! I get to be reunited with you Maqui~~! ^_^ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Maqui:** Crap... hey Lebreau, mind if I borrow your machine gun?

**Lebreau:** Not at all

**Yuj:** O_O Stop playing hard to get already!

**Lebreau:** Maqui, I'll give you all my ammo. Looks like you're gonna need it!

**Maqui:** Thank you so much!

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> My NORA crew r da best! Totally helped us out! :D  
>[Yuj, Maqui, Gadot and Lebreau like this.]<p>

**Gadot:** No prob dude!

**Yuj:** Maqui is being mean :'( Oh hey, is that Hope guy here?

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** Yes?

**Yuj:** How's it going between you and the boss?

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** It's so sweet! ^_^ Kyaaaa~! x

**Yuj:** THAT good? Wow...

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** You know what? I'm not even going to let this bother me anymore -_-

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** That's the same as admitting your love! ^.^ x

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** IT IS NOT! PLEASE STOP SAYING I'M IN LOVE WITH SNOW!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** So u do luv me?

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** NO! Urgh, let's just carry on saving the world and we can deal with this stupidity later -.-

* * *

><p><strong>Yaag Rosch posted:<strong> Okay, time to enact fight 2! Victory is mine!

**Cid Raines:** Good luck, I just got shot by the freaking Cavalry -.- Although to be fair, I deserved it

**Yaag Rosch:** How on earth are you still alive? O_O

**Cid Raines:** No clue, but I ended up back on the ward with Nabaat and Anima

**The Great Fal Cie Anima:** Call me Annie! :D

* * *

><p><em><strong>Yaag Rosch and The Great Fal Cie Anima are now friends<strong>_

**The Great Fal Cie Anima posted:** Welcome to the ward! :D

**Yaag Rosch:** So this is it huh? I couldv'e sworn that I'd died...

**Jihl Nabaat:** Join the club

**Cid Raines:** I hear that

**Jihl Nabaat:** Oh by the way Rosch, you owe me three beers

**Yaag Rosch:** I know I know, stupid l'Cie -.-

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> Time to kick some Orphan ass!  
>[Fang The Destroyer, Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy, Chocoling, Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim, Oerba Dia Vanille and Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron like this]<p>

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Thirteen- Orphan's Cradle

**Oerba Dia Vanille posted:** Wow! This place is so pretty and pink~! ^_^ x

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** Oh God... it's another puzzle place! O_O

**Chocoling:** Kewh KEWH kewh kewh! [Translation: I REFUSE to do this! It's like Taejin's Tower all over again!]

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** If we can make it through this, we'll be at Orphan. Don't worry, this place looks easy enough

* * *

><p><strong>Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim posted:<strong> HOLY SHIT THERE ARE MORE EVIL FLYING MOTORCYCLES HERE! ! I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER HAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN! !

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** HOPE! ! WE R GOING 2 DIE! ! THEY R EVEN STRONGER HRE!

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** AND WE WERE SO CLOSE TO ORPHAN! ! :'(

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Hey! Hope, if we do die then why don't you finally tell Snow how you truly feel before it's too late? :3 x

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** HOW CAN YOU STILL HAVE THOUGHTS LIKE THAT WHEN THERE ARE MOTORBIKES OF DEATH ATTACKING US? ! O_O

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Fan girls are tough ;D x

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> How many boss type battles do we have to do before we get to obliterate Orphan? ! -.-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Hah! These bosses r all rubbish compared 2 da evil flying motorcycles! So easy!

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** ^Agreed!

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** What I want to know is: What's with the giant entity things that randomly make portals? :S

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** I wouldn't mind knowing that either, this place is just plain weird.

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> Grreeaaattt, we get to face the old dude again -_-

**Fang The Destroyer:** Hopefully this time he'll STAY dead!

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> Of course he didn't stay dead, he went and morphed into a huge bastard known as Orphan! -.-

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Uwah! Dis looks lyk itz gunna be painful :'(

**Fang The Destroyer:** Just remembered that I left something in the oven, so I can't fight...

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Yeah, and I need to go on Farmville so I can't fite either...

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** The Sentinels can't just strike on critical fights!

**Fang The Destroyer:** Watch us!

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** We've been through WAY too much for you to just wimp out, so suck it up!

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Wow... dat's unlike u sis O.o

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** I just want to beat it already! Plus it's shouting, and it's annoying me -_-

* * *

><p><strong>Fang The Destroyer posted:<strong> Enough of this! I don't wanna take anymore hits, it's too damn painful! Imma just become Ragnarok already!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** NOOOOOOOOO! xxx

_**Fang The Destroyer has gone from being a 'Pulse l'Cie' to being 'some random creature that's supposedly Ragnarok'**_

_**Everyone else has gone from being 'Pulse l'Cie' to 'Cieth'**_

_**The people here at Facebook are wondering what the hell is going on**_

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> Okay... WTF just happened? !

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Beats me! :S

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** So... Fang is okay and we AREN'T Cieth? :S x

**Fang The Destroyer:** It would seem that way...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** Enough with the questions! We can ask them later, for now let's just defeat Orphan!

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> AWESOME! We did it! :D

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** That seemed way too easy...

_**The whole of Cocoon suddenly started collapsing**_

**Hope 'Motherf*cking Estheim:** I knew something bad would happen -.-

**Fang The Destroyer:** Vanille! You know what we gotta do!

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Right! xxx

**_Oerba Dia Vanille and Fang The Destroyer fused into Ragnarok, did some cool stuff, and saved Cocoon by encasing it in Crystal_**

x~x~x~x~x

Epilogue Stuff

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim posted:** Fang... Vanille...

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** They gave their lives to save us...

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** No way! This can't be how it ends!

* * *

><p><strong><em>Serah Farron and Dajh Katzroy have gone from being 'crystal' to being 'human'<em>**

* * *

><p><strong>Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy posted:<strong> Dajh! :D xx  
>[Dajh Katzroy likes this]<p>

**Dajh Katzroy:** Daddy! ^_^ xx

_**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy and Dajh Katzroy are having a touching father and son moment**_

* * *

><p><strong>Snow 'The Hero' Villiers posted:<strong> SERAH! ! ! !xxxxxxxxxx  
>[Serah Farron likes this]<p>

**Serah Farron:** Snow! ! ! ! !xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron:** I'm glad that you're okay.

**Serah Farron:** Sis! ^_^ xxxxx

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** I love you so much Serah! ! xxxxxxxxxxx

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** BOO! Why isn't there a dislike button? :( x

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Ur alive? ! O_O

**Fang The Destroyer:** Yeah, we are in some random hospital ward with all the people that have tried to kill us

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** YOU'RE ALIVE! ! :D

**Fang The Destroyer:** Well, we still have stuff left to do on Pulse and such :P Don't worry, in a few hours we'll have gone back in time and be back on Pulse as if none of this ever happened

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** That doesn't make any sense! But then again... I can actually see that happening

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Snow! How can you sideline Hope? ! -.- x

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers:** Huh? :S

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** Vanille, for the last time: it's not like that between us!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Square Enix has just released new video footage of their new game: Final Fantasy XIII-Versus<br>**_[Snow 'The Hero' Villiers, Oerba Dia Vanille, Fang The Destroyer, Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim and Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy likes this]

**Snow 'The Hero' Villiers ****posted****:** Oh man! Dis looks so cool! :D

**Sazh 'The Pimp' Katzroy:** I'm totally getting this!

**Fang The Destroyer: **It does look good!

**Oerba Dia Vanille: **Awesome~! ^_^ x_**  
><strong>_

**Lightning 'The Fealress' Farron:** WHY ON EARTH ISN'T THERE A DISLIKE BUTTON? ! -_-

* * *

><p><em><strong>Square Enix has just announced FF: XIII-2<strong>_

**Oerba Dia Vanille to Hope Estheim:** Hah! This just proves that you and Snow belong together! ^_^ x

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** How did you draw that conclusion? :S

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Cuz Serah seems to be paired with some new guy, so that means you and Snow belong together~! :D x

**Hope 'Motherf*cking' Estheim:** You're never going to give up on the idea are you? u_u

**Oerba Dia Vanille:** Nope! ^.^ x

* * *

><p><strong>The Great Fal Cie Anima:<strong> Hey, Titan and Carcuncle, wanna meet up? :)

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan:** Sure thing dude!

**The Amazing Fal Cie Carbuncle:** You bet :D

**The Epic Fal Cie Titan:** EPIC RAVE TIMEZ! !

* * *

><p><strong><em>The new anime series 'Sailor Lightning' has viewer ratings at an all time high<em>**

**Lightning 'The Fearless' Farron posted:** SERIOUSLY, I WANT A DISLIKE BUTTON! ! ! I WANT A DISLIKE BUTTON THIS VERY INSTANT! ! ! ! -_-

x~x~x~x~x

**Phew! Done! Obvs this could carry on for all eternity, but I got the main game points done so I shall end it here XD  
>Alright, so review and all that jazz, I'll love ya :D<br>Thankies for reading my fic~ And look out for the next update (back to the usual rule format :P)  
><strong>

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	6. Rules 42 To 50

**Hey all!****  
><strong>Yeah, been a while since an update but my life has been crazy with exams so don't blame me, blame the MAN! Anywho, On with the story~<strong>**

x~x~x~x~x

**42.) Let your ringtone ring out for the duration before answering**

Messing with Hope was hilarious, that was a fact. It was so hilarious that pretty much everyone (even Lightning when she was drunk) would do something to annoy him slightly. Fang and Snow decided to team up occasionally, because when they did they were the best pranksters in the whole of Cocoon and Pulse combined. Today was one of those days where they collaborated, and their theme for today was mobile phone sabotage.

Fang procured the silver haired teen's phone and unlocked it, rolling her eyes at the easy password of _'mummy' _before changing his ringtone. She then slyly left it in a place he would find it so that he would put it in his pocket and carry on as if life was normal.

When Sazh and Hope were engaged in a conversation of some sort, the two tricksters hid behind a conveniently placed plant and rang Hope's number.

_'I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world~'_

The girly song resonated from Hope's pocket, and Sazh immediately gave the other a look that said, 'Oh dear Lord, there is no hope for you.'

Fang and Snow found this so amusing, that stealing Hope's phone became a regular occurrence. So far the songs they had made the ringtone were:

The Bed Intruder Song  
>German Sparkle Party<br>You're My Cuppycake, Sugar Plum  
>If You Were Gay<p>

This little prank was perfectly harmless, that is until Fang decided to ring Hope when he was just having a casual conversation with Lightning and Vanille:

_'To the window! To the wall! Till the sweat drop down my balls, to all those bitches crawl!'_

Needless to say, it didn't go down well with the females.

**43.) Robot dance... badly**

This was another one of Snow's attempts at 'defining himself', and was as much of a failure as all of his other disastrous attempts. Not only was he awful at said style of dancing, when he found himself up against some Pulse Automata he utterly refused to lay a hand on 'the beings that invented his favourite style of dance'.

"Dammit Snow, just help us already!" Light said in annoyance as she slashed away at one of the robots.

"NEVER!" he said dramatically, "Fighting is not the answer! We should all unite through dance!"

He then jumped in the middle of his companions and the robots and began his (crap) robot dancing. Deciding that someone _that _stupid deserved to get beaten up, the group simply walked off and left Snow to his demise.

The NORA leader has sworn to never robot dance again.

**44.) Make me work over 37.5 hours a week**

"Fang, attack from above! Hope, use predominantly fire spells! Vanille, debuff the enemy and Snow, keep guarding while Sazh sprays them with bullets!" Lightning commanded, running forward and piercing one of the enemies they were currently up against with her gunblade. She coordinated the others perfectly, and it wouldn't be long until they had this battle won.

*Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep*

"Huh? What's that?" Fang asked as she finished off one of their opponents. The pink haired woman was looking at the watch around her wrist and sighed, before proceeding to walk away.

"Oi! Where are you going?" the Pulsian yelled, quickly dodging as their opponents began to pull back from getting their asses kicked. The whole group halted as they watched Farron retreat, and the subsequent battle that ensued was much harder than it needed to be.

"What the hell was that?" Fang exploded once they had caught up with Lightning ages later. She got a load of angry glares on her, but she coolly said:

"I have already fulfilled the 37.5 hours of work that my contract details I should do a week."

"Oh hell no! You can't be serious," Sazh said in disbelief.

Light pulled out her phone and called Enix while putting it on speaker so that everyone could hear. "Hey, this is Farron. I'm done for the week right?"

The stiff voice of a business man on the other end of the line sighed. "Miss. Farron, I think you must have misunde-"

"HEY! It is my legal _right _to stop now!" the woman interjected before the businessman could say anything. Deciding that angering her was pointless, the man grudgingly agreed, and Lightning stalked off.

"What gives? Why is she so special?" Snow moaned, "I don't get time off."

"None of us do, but ever since we took out that Sanctum airship she's been all high and mighty."

Meanwhile at Sqaure Enix HQ, a lowly office walker entered an executive looking office.

"Mr. Sakaguchi... Lightning Farron is becoming more and more unmanageable," the man said worriedly. The world renowned Hironobu Sakaguchi turned to his worried colleague and smiled as he said, "Do not worry, I have been mulling over the issue. We won't have to worry about her complaining of working over time anymore."

As if in answer to the question the other man wanted to ask, Sakaguchi produced a picture. "This guy is Noel Kreiss, and he has agreed to not be so stingy about hours. We're letting Lightning go and using this guy instead."

And that is why Final Fantasy XIII-2 featured a different protagonist.

**45.) Wear your pants below your boxers**

Galenth Dysley wasn't liked; he knew that. Sometimes he wondered why that was, he only wanted a better world for Cocoon and he didn't really have a bad personality or any annoying habits. After wracking his evil mind for what must have been days, he finally understood just _why _people disliked him so much:

His fashion sense intimidated people.

That was the only logical conclusion he could come up with, and so he spent the next week or so researching all of the latest fashion trends so that he could be 'down with the kids' and increase his 'rep' (which he later found out meant reputation). Opting to switch his white, pointy hat for a bandana and his dress- I mean _robes_- for more 'funky' attire, he looked at himself in the mirror and nodded proudly.

He was wearing a baggy white t-shirt that said 'FUCK SOCIETY' in big letters (because apparently being a rebel was seen as cool these days) and was wearing baggy combat trousers in black, because he was told that black was the colour of something called the emo community- and they were apparently trendy. He was wearing white converses as well, and to finish off the look he made sure to wear his combats halfway down his ass, because for some unfathomable reason everyone else was doing it.

To be honest he thought he looked stupid, but when he went out onto the streets in this getup, people smiled at him and cheerily greeted him. Dysley had succeeded:

The public adored him.

Too bad for him that any and all Fal Cie refused to take him seriously or listen to him anymore, and even created l'Cie that had the focus of pulling the old man's pants down.

**46.) Drive slow**

Maqui sprinted as fast as he could to get away from his pursuer, honestly fearing for his life at this point. He hurdled a fence, dodged the bustle of people he came into contact with and even braved crossing the path of a rabid dog in order to put as much distance as humanly possible between himself and the delusional member of NORA who was becoming more and more mentally unstable every day. Running out of energy rapidly, Maqui dived into a taxi and pointed forward while commanding, "DRIVE!"

If this were like the movies, the taxi man would have put the pedal to the metal and sped off at ludicrous speeds. However this was not a movie, and the taxi driver seemed bored as hell. He lazily shifted the gears and put his foot down on the accelerator, but they drove off at a painfully slow speed. Not one for being all that pushy, Maqui just twiddled his thumbs nervously but did ask if they could go faster.

"Can't son," the driver said, "Got to follow the speed limit, and drive safely and responsibly. It's the code of a good cabbie."

"Please, just drive a bit faster!" the blonde said, getting more and more frantic because it wouldn't be long until-

BANG!

The roof of the car indented, as if a great weight had suddenly descended on the vehicle.

"Crap!" Maqui yelled, doing his best to get his seatbelt off in a hurry, but failing miserably.

"Oh Maqui, come now. No need to be so shy~" a deranged voice called from outside of the cab, before a streak of blue hair cascaded down the side of the car and Yuj was looking at Maqui through the window. He leapt off of the roof and opened the door, dragging the struggling teen out of the cab and glaring at the driver.

"You will _never _take Maqui away from me," he said in an ice-cold voice, tightening his hold on said guy who was doing everything within his power to escape. The driver just looked on, horror washing through him as the blue haired guy before him took out a grenade and smirked before pulling the pin from it...

And that is why when somebody spontaneously dives into your car and screams "DRIVE!" it is probably a good idea to drive fast, because you are now involved in some serious shit.

**47.) Text whilst I'm talking to you**

Dysley was now liked by people, and he was relatively happy. The only thing that was prohibiting his happiness was the fact that all the Fal Cie now treated him like some sort of freak show that they shouldn't pay any heed to. It was as he was running over one of his dastardly plans with Anima that he lost all of his patience, because the impudent Fal Cie had the nerve to actually be _texting _during their discussion!

"Would you please refrain from doing that?" he asked stiffly. "It is extremely rude and it bugs me."

"Whatever, weirdo," Anima said, not looking up from his phone screen. He suddenly started chuckling at the reply he got a few moments later. "Haha, Titan is outrageous!" he laughed, composing a reply straight away.

"OI! Anima, would you pay attention?" the old man roared. Anima looked up from his mobile phone, and his face immediately hardened. "Are you looking at me funny?" he said in a voice of death.

"So what if I am? You're texting when I'm trying to have a conversation with you. That's unforgivable! It seems as though I'll have to teach you a few manners!"

He morphed into Barthandelus then, just as Anima was shaking in rage because he will annihilate you if you dare to look at him funny.

Thus an epic clash between the Fal Cie ensued, which is actually the real story as to how Cocoon got that huge hole in it.

**48.) Have selective hearing**

"Umm... Vanille? I didn't agree to this..." Hope said in uncertainty, looking at said girl who was holding a high-tech camera in her hands.

"Nonsense! Of course you did~" she said cheerily, pointing to the bed behind him. "Okay, take your top off and lie down on the bed," she commanded, but she kept her cheery smile and so Hope wasn't sure what he should do. He really couldn't recall consenting to do this random photo shoot.

"Just when did I agree to this?" he asked, removing his top carefully. He was just glad it was only the two of them in the room, because he was sure Fang would make some reference as to how feminine he looked and that would just set the others off. Vanille on the other hand, was always nice about this kind of stuff.

"You said that you would model for me and that you would do any poses I wanted," Vanille said matter of factly.

"I-I did?" he asked, shocked that he would agree to such a thing.

The Pulsian simply nodded and looked through her camera, fiddling with some complicated gizmos on the side of it to presumably get a clearer pity. "It's not good for you to have selective hearing," she said as she nodded at her camera.

"Well okay then... what do you want me to do?"

"Lie down on the bed please~" she hummed. Hope did as he was told, feeling majorly uncomfortable but apparently he had given his word, and so he would fulfil it- he had been raised well.

"Okay, that's great!" she said happily, before calling out, "Okay, you can come in now~!"

Hope looked up from his spot on the bed with curiosity in his eyes. _Seriously, what on earth is going on? _he wondered, but he finally found out as the door was flung open dramatically and there stood Snow, in a similar shirtless state, grinning like an idiot.

"I love having photo sesh's!" he said happily, but stopped dead when he saw Hope. "Huh? What's going on?"

"You said that you would model for me right? Well I want you to model with Hope~ So get onto the bed!" Vanille said excitedly.

"Yeah but... isn't that kinda weird?" the NORA leader scratched his head in confusion and Hope quickly jumped off of the bed. "No! Absolute NO WAY am I doing this!" he said resolutely.

"Whaaaat? That's so unfair~ You promised!" Vanille moaned.

"I don't remember anything! I'm leaving!"

However, before any of them could leave the room, Vanille casted Daze on them both, effectively making them extremely docile and unable to object to anything she did to them.

"It's no good to have a selective memory~" she hummed cheerily as she lugged the two of them onto the bed. "Now then, let's make magic happen!"

The lesson that can be learned here is that fan girls are scary bitches, so never promise them anything and never anger them._ Ever_.

**49.) Pimp your ride**

Snow loved his Eidolens. In fact, he loved them so much that he would often summon them up just to have a friendly chat with them. He also loved it when they both fused together to form a totally sweet motorbike, which he would then ride around everywhere, showing off his epic ride. One day, Snow thought that he should paint a snowflake on the two Shiva sisters when they were in their motorbike form, as a way of deepening their bond. Sadly, people had failed to tell Snow that Eidolens were very precious when it came to their appearance, and any attempt made at changing their appearance greatly angered them.

"Oh man this is gonna be awesome!" the blonde said to himself as he stood before his Eidolen motorcycle with a can of ice blue paint. He had spent most of the morning practicing his snowflake drawing skills and he felt that he had finally gotten good enough to try the real thing (he really hadn't, but it's nice to let him dream). He flipped the lid off of the paint can, retrieved a paintbrush that he had stored in his pocket earlier, and approached the Shiva sisters. As soon as that brush made contact with them, all hell broke lose. The sisters immediately separated and began to attack Snow as they had done when they had first met (although this time Stiria wasn't healing him) and it wasn't until 4 hours later that Vanille happened to come across Snow; who was frozen solid in a block of ice.

They are still trying to thaw him out.

**50.) UsE aLtErNaTe CaPiTaL aNd LoWeR cAsE lEtTeRs **

HeYa~

OkAy, EvErYoNe LiKeS tO gEt GoOd LuCk AnD i KnOw ThAt YoU mUsT bE tHe SaMe. So To ObTaIn YoUr GoOd LuCk, SeNd ThIs To FiFtY pEoPlE iN yOuR eMaIl InBoX.

If YoU dOn'T, yOu WiLl LoSe AlL oF yOuR lUcK aNd DiE a PaInFuL dEaTh!

LoVe Ya~

Light glared at the e-mail that she had just received. If her glare actually had the capacity to deal damage, then her laptop would honestly cease to exist at this point.

"How dare someone send me such an email?" she demanded, her eyes still fixated on the screen. If there was one thing that annoyed her more than people listening to music on their phones or putting 'lol' all the bloody time, it was when they typed like utter retards and used alternating capital and lower case letters. She scanned the screen in order to see who had sent her the heinous message, making a mental note to beat the crap out of them.

From: Noctis Lucis Caelum

"He must have a death wish," she said in a voice that wasn't angry, but was very low and so threatening that she actually dropped the temperature about her by about five hundred degrees.

Meanwhile, Noctis had a bad feeling about what he had just done. He had once again randomly selected people in his inbox to forward the message to (he was very superstitious and so always obeyed chain mail commands), and when he had a look at who had received it he tensed.

"I sent it to that person who hates me for some reason," he said, pursing his lips. He wasn't sure why, but he suddenly felt extremely uneasy. Perhaps it was a good thing that he didn't know Light was busy sharpening her sword and devising the most brilliant plan to wipe his existence for all eternity.

x~x~x~x~x

**Explanations:**

**42- I'm the type of person who has a personalised ringtone and thinks that they are super cool, but when it goes off in public I just wanna die XD**  
><strong>44- I'm sure you all know this, but Hironobu Sakaguchi is the creator of Final Fantasy ^_^<strong>  
><strong>45- I have no earthly idea what I was thinking...<strong>  
><strong>46- Why Yuj has turned into a yandere I will never now :P<strong>  
><strong>48- Yes, fan girls really <strong>_**are **_**that scary, so be on guard!**

**Well, thank you for reading this and again I'm sorry for the late update *bows* Please review to let me know what you think, they keep me inspired and prevent me from going completely insane :D**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


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